Today on Overcoming Roadblocks, I’m speaking with self-empowerment expert and martial arts instructor, Theresa Byrne.
Theresa is a global TED.com speaker and her presentation was awarded “Top Ten Most Meaningful TED Talks”’ by Thrive Global Magazine. She is a nationally recognized expert in self-empowerment and a Master Instructor in martial arts, and personal self-defence.
She has worked directly with tens of thousands of clients, teaching them to activate their inner power and boost their energy through an understanding of things like the importance of boundaries and the effects of adrenaline.
Join us as we talk about Sabotage 101 – The Secrets To Double Your Energy Now.
In this inspiring episode, you’re going to learn:
- How to ensure you can stop being stopped
- What your challenges have to do with your energy
- Why your entrepreneurial challenges are more within your control than you might think
So, if you’re always feeling tired and burned out, and you’re interested to find out how you can access even deeper wells of energy, then you’re not going to want to miss this episode.
May you lead your life with kindness,
Susan Friesen
Visionary Brand Strategist
Theresa Byrne is a global TED.com speaker where her talk was awarded “Top Ten Most Meaningful TED Talks” by Thrive Global Magazine. Theresa Byrne, aka “Master T” is also a nationally recognized expert in self-empowerment and a Master Instructor in martial arts, and personal self-defense, and uses her experience to teach others (she’s worked directly with over 40,000 clients) how to activate their inner power using concepts like how adrenaline affects our bodies and mindset, and why boundaries are the secret to staying sane.
Get your free Saboteur Assessment and find out which self-defeating patterns might be sabotaging the results you want in your life.
Transcription
Susan Friesen 0:00
Hello, and welcome to the overcoming roadblocks that are preventing your success series. I am so excited to have you here today, I can’t believe who I have as a special guest this folks stick around, you do not want to miss this, we have got the one and the only and the perfect Teresa Brin with us. And she’s going to talk to us all about the secrets to doubling your energy now. And as you know, this series is all about overcoming roadblocks. And I have invited Teresa to come and talk to us about her tips and strategies that will help us figure out what’s getting in our way to success, and how can we overcome them so that we can do exactly what we’re meant to do on this planet and make a big difference in the world. So welcome to recess. So thank you so much for being a part of the show.
Theresa Byrne 0:59
Oh, I can’t thank you enough. I’m so excited to be here soon. And not only that, I’m excited that you are addressing roadblocks. So often, in the coaching and consulting industry. We’re not looking at some of these different pieces. So I love I love what you are uncovering.
Susan Friesen 1:17
But thank you for bringing that up, because I think it is the world’s best kept secret. You know, there’s all these gurus and marketing people and business people who are all telling you Okay, step one, step two, step three, and they’re missing the most vital part of any successful business. And that is, you know, how to overcome those kinds of challenges that keep cropping up. And we’re gonna get more and more into that conversation today. But what that what that really means and what’s really happening when that happens, but it is something that rarely gets talked about, or it gets talked about in a different way that doesn’t quite resonate with entrepreneurs, they think, Oh, well, that doesn’t apply to me. Oh, well, that’s, you know, that’s that that doesn’t that doesn’t pertain to what’s going on with me. So why don’t we just dive right in? Because I, I’m really anxious to talk to you about this. And, you know, why don’t we start off with, you know, what, what are some of the telltale signs, the end, you know, that our challenges as an entrepreneur that keep coming up, that are actually more within our control than what we really think? And I thought this was a pretty curious question to ask you.
Theresa Byrne 2:28
First it’s such a good question. I would love to sort of define like, what is a challenge. So something that comes up in my business, you might be like, ah, been there done that, or if any entrepreneurs had to start learning technology, you’re, you’re freaking out, you’re thinking, I do not know how to do this, this or that, or zoom or be live or how I publish videos. And it feels like a challenge in the beginning. And then what happens? We start to learn, we start to practice. So it’s not the thing itself. It’s our reaction to it. It’s what we make it mean, it’s what it does in our systems. And I’m gonna tell you a secret. Our adrenaline systems will treat something that feels like a threat. Like it is a threat, it doesn’t even matter if it’s a real threat. So for example, I’ll use the example of learning something for your business, maybe, let’s say in your business, you’ve got to learn how to do podcasting, or you’ve got to learn how to do some kind of voice recording, and you’ve just got Aedes like, you are clueless you are, what do we start to do? You freak out, many of us will freak out, right? We will fight flight or freeze. And that can often look like I’m not doing that, where we put it off, we’re uncomfortable, that we put it off and we make up in our heads that there’s one way to do it. And if I just had all the right tech, if I took all the right classes, if I blank fill in the blank, then I could do it. It’s almost like this. If this, then I could do that. And that is what we would do to a challenge or I guess I should say, an opportunity. So what’s the difference between the challenge and an opportunity?
Susan Friesen 4:10
Good question. Good question. And I love how you phrase that because, well, we’ll definitely get you to answer that. But I just wanted to say that I love how you just twisted that negative into a positive like it is all about how we respond and react to whatever challenge it is that comes our way, whether it’s learning a new podcast, or whether it’s, you know, the economy has tanked. You know, it can be a huge spectrum of things that come across us that we can perceive as challenges. Yet it’s how we perceive those challenges and how we react to them. So you tell me, what’s the difference between a challenge and an opportunity?
Theresa Byrne 4:50
I think it’s all in the definition and the perception. So if you gave a three year old, a box and you said build something Be like, Okay, I’m going to make a castle No, wait, I am going to build a flying machine I am going to. But if you give a 35 year old a box and tell them to build something, they’re gonna search YouTube and ask or ask Google, what can I do with a box? The difference is the level of creativity, the idea that something is an opportunity changes our thinking. So oftentimes, we’ll sabotage ourselves, draining our energy by creating that this idea has one way or it has to go this way, or there’s one right answer. And, honestly, what if we had that mind of a child, and we looked at everything like an opportunity? Ah, cool. Now I get to learn podcasting, I have to write a book, wait, I get to write a book. And for any of us who ever tried something new, it was hard, the first time we did it, it was a challenge the first time we did it, but after that, it became something we got better and better at. So really, it’s all in the mindset. It’s all in what we say when we talk to ourselves about it.
Susan Friesen 6:10
Yeah, I love that it is. And but I also want to mention, like, there’s a point where enough learning, you know, like, there, there can be there’s people out there and you know who you are, who have to have every single ducks in a row before you can take a step forward further. So maybe what I would like to phrase is, instead of making sure every single duck is there, instead of you taking all the time to learn, and you know, spend all this money to learn a skill set that maybe somebody else could do for you. So it’s not just learning, also about delegating to, is it not?
Theresa Byrne 6:53
Well, and imagine this, if you will, you’ve got decided you’re gonna learn how to podcast and it’s freaking you out, and it is draining you and you’re avoiding it. And you’re binge eating at night, because you don’t want to think about the fact that you’re supposed to be doing a podcast. And instead of making yourself crazy, and trying to figure out which ducks need to be. And by the way, what were we going to do with all those ducks anyway, like, I’ve never seen ducks actually in a row. So being able to respectfully understand that our energy is worth something. So to pay or delegate, that makes so much more sense. Because then we can live in our genius, we can do what we came here to do, and not freak out about learning a podcast.
Susan Friesen 7:37
Yeah. Oh, that’s so true. Like, you know, I think this is something that I’ve mentioned in the past with others. But, you know, I think it’s worthy of repeating is that, especially as women for whatever reason, we have this sense that we should already know how to do all of this. And to ask for help, is almost like an insult to our intelligence. And we’re embarrassed by it. What, what’s with that?
Theresa Byrne 8:09
So for many women, especially, and I love this, like, one of the things I do is teach self defense, and it’s so much fun, because women are like, Okay, do I use this part? And do I stand this way? Like, how do I do the exact thing, and it’s not the exact thing that matters as much as it is doing it. And for a lot of us, we sort of feel like if, if it’s my thing, I need to take care of it. If it’s my job, I need to handle it. If it’s my blank, it’s under my responsibility. We take too much responsibility. And here’s a funny story. I ran, owned and ran a martial arts studio for many years. And I hated the detail work hated that. And I hired a woman who had utter and complete joy. She became my studio director. And she was full of joy and all the details, all the scheduling. In fact, she started running my schedule, because I was so bad at it. But, and we had these big conversations, her strengths were exactly what I didn’t have. But we went and we’re like, I got this, I got this, I can do this. And I can do that. And I can make sure they’re taken care of. And I can take care of the house. And I can take like we think we signed up for all of these pieces.
Susan Friesen 9:25
Yeah. Yeah, I just love what you just said, because I’m not details person. And I love working with visionaries who feel like they’re scattered everywhere. But really, we need visionaries in the world. And we need the opposites to work with those visionaries so that we can keep them in, you know, on track and help make sure that all the steps are in place to get to where they need to be. So
Theresa Byrne 9:52
I want to repeat that again, for anybody out there who is not delegating the details. What happens for you when you handle that for other people.
Susan Friesen 9:59
What that feel like, well, for me, I’m in, I’m in my glory, like, you know, that’s exactly what I’m on this earth to do, I’m in my purpose, I’m taking your vision, your bigger picture, and I have a gift of knowing I just know exactly what it is that you’re wanting to achieve and accomplish, you know, just get a little bit of input from you. And then let’s go to work. And let’s break it up into bite sized pieces. And this systematically roll this out and get you to where you need to be. And that’s my genius. And then what happens on the other end is the visionary just feels this sense of calm and peace. So that Oh, my God, everything is being taken care of. I don’t have to worry about all these little details anymore. Because that’s not in there. Genius.
Theresa Byrne 10:43
That’s what I love. I want people to hear that there are people the things you don’t want to do actually give joy to someone else?
Susan Friesen 10:51
Yes, yeah. And it works the other way too. Like, I have to have a visionary on my team. Because I, you know, I might have an inkling of an idea, but I pass it by my visionary and then together. And in fact, when you and I first spoke, what did we do? We fleshed out this whole series almost in that one conversation, because you have you had brought the visionary element into the mix. And so we need both opposites do attract, and they do work really well together. And if you look at any of the famous people on Earth, you know, from Bill Gates to, you know, all these other people that always have an opposite on their team. Always brilliant.
Theresa Byrne 11:31
And I when I was watching you your energy just like started soaring. My energy if you said let’s look at the details, Oh, no. And you know, we’re talking about doubling your energy. Well, delegate to someone who it lights them up.
Susan Friesen 11:46
Yeah, that lights them up. So talking about energy let’s, let’s talk about those challenges that we were referencing, like, you know, what do the challenges have to do with our energy is more than like, it’s just like this downer, Debbie Downer kind of a syndrome is there more to it that’s going on there.
Theresa Byrne 12:03
Oh, imagine this, when you are living in your zone of genius, you’re activating your strengths, you are shine and you’re living your purpose, you’re in the flow, you’re in the zone, it creates its own energy, it synergistically adds energy. So even if I’m you and I are working together, and I’m delegating details, I have more energy, because I’ve given you something that drains my energy, you get more excited, and then I get more excited. So it doesn’t just like singular, it double, it doubles, it quadruples, it is the, you know, the song is much bigger because of that synergy. So the challenge is looking at, where is my energy around this item, like if you tell me you need to sit and do paperwork? I am so like, I’m in timeout. But if you tell me hey, you need to be on this radio show, and you’re gonna be interviewed on this podcast, and you’re gonna be doing this video. I’m like, Okay, let me get stuff going. That’s my brain is gonna fly. And the difference is that each of those opportunities or challenges will feel a way in our bodies, learning how to recognize that feeling. And you’ll start to see more. They call it embodiment work or somatic work, you’ll start to see this more, we’re focusing more on how we feel, and less than just how we think. Because feeling tells us a lot more information. And there’s two different kinds of stress. Stress is a big catch all catchphrase right now, there is what’s called distress, where there’s overwhelmed too much out of comfort zone, beating yourself up horribly and like having a really difficult time. And then there’s another kind of stress called you stress, eu stress. And you stress is like when you start going to the gym for the first time or you’re lifting a weight or you’re doing a squat, or for women. I mean, when we do push ups, no woman I know loves doing push ups, but they’re super good for us. And then when you can like kick out 50 Push ups, you’re like I can kick out 50 Push Ups doesn’t mean I love them. But it helps us grow. It is that stress if you’re pregnant. You stress, you’ve got to figure out how am I going to be a parent? How am I going to have this child oh my god, I’m gonna give birth in X number of months. And it calls you into being so you stress is more of an aspirational. It calls you into that next level of yourself. distress is the heavier or beating ourselves up. We’re struggling with that level of stress and the challenges or the opportunities. They will bring up those different things.
Susan Friesen 14:44
Yeah, yeah, I love that. It’s almost like you have your positive stress and your negative stress. And we want more positive stress in our lives because they’re stressing us out but they’re also pushing us past our limits and getting us past some pause. Civil perceived roadblocks, you know, like you’re saying with the push up. I don’t know if I can do one push up. But I guess I’ve just been challenged, I don’t know, a push up a day
And one was just one, do I have to get my nose all the way to the ground? Can I just like a little nudge?
Lorraine Ellen Scott 15:21
You can put your knees on the floor, none of that matters.
Susan Friesen 15:24
Okay. But, but I love that. And so let’s talk a little bit more about that negative stress, because I think, you know, especially with COVID, a lot, a lot more of that perceived negative stress has come into our lives. And it’s right through to right now with the state of the economy, and the recession is looming. And, you know, and the world is feels like it’s been turned upside down to the last few years. And so can you share a little bit about how we can do that? How can we overcome that some of this is really real, some of it people are really struggling with finances, you know, they’re really struggling in their relationships, but let’s, you know, let’s keep focused on on entrepreneurs, and what can entrepreneurs do to deal with this negative stress, and then get on with their vision and get past all of these roadblocks that they’re encountering?
Theresa Byrne 16:24
Ah, this is such a great question. And I almost want to, like, publish this out to the world. Yes, there are things that are stressors. And there are some things that are perceived negative, and there’s something that actually do feel negative, but I will say, worrying about them, never made them different. Bingo 85% of the time, what we worry about does not come to fruition. And we start building up in our heads reasons and, and, and options and ways it’s gonna go down and, and we build this almost this case, for the worst case scenario. And I have to tell you, in 2014, I had a car accident, brain injury, and the doctors could never figure out why how I was so positive. And yes, I had depression and anxiety and PTSD, and all of these things, I talk about it in my TED Talk. But the difference is, I knew I was going to heal, I just didn’t know how. And the difference is, you’re gonna figure it out, you may just not have all the tools right now. But worrying about it robs us of this moment. Now, like most entrepreneurs, especially when it comes to finances, or clients, or, you know, longevity or whatever stability we’re looking at, it’s okay to create a plan for if this thing happens, but you don’t have to live there. Yeah, you don’t have to make every moment because it robs you of your very valuable personal resource that you can’t get back is time, the energy in that time. So for me as an entrepreneur, when I had a great month, it wasn’t like I would sit there and yea, you know, I would be like, Okay, great. Now let’s keep building, but it’s okay to sit back and say this, this can work. And the other thing is, if you’re having a difficult time, financially, the chemistry, the biochemistry of stress, or adrenaline is not going to help you get through it. calming yourself will. Yeah, learning how to get into your body that will help you move through it.
Susan Friesen 18:32
Yeah, I need to pause here for a second because what you just said is so incredibly important. And I implore you, the viewer to soak that in and let it sink in. It’s not just words, it’s reality, that we’ve heard this phrase before, what you think about comes about, Well, that’s true. The more you worry, the more you’re gonna manifest what you’re worrying about. And then, you know, you’re manifesting or you’re attempting to manifest because you’re thinking about it all the time. And then like, what you said is that it rarely ever, ever comes to fruition. And, and I think that and also in saying that, I can’t remember who it was that I was, I read somebody’s book, and they said that there are warriors of the world and non warriors, like it’s in our DNA, and I’m one of those non warriors. And so sometimes it might be hard for me to relate, you know, to the Warriors, because I’m like, What are you worried about? And they’re going Why aren’t you worried about this? Right? Like, they’re both legitimately wondering why the other person doesn’t get them. And so, but the important thing here is that the Warriors they do always think I had, you know, they’re always 10 steps ahead, you know, making plans for the what ifs of the world. So I think the key thing to know here is to not get emotionally involved in that sense of worrying. Instead, do what you had said and plan it. Okay, let’s have a plan in place, if this happens, let’s have a plan. And then it’s set aside, you don’t have to think about it again, you’ve got that plan, your sense of worrying is no longer needed, it’s no longer necessary. And it probably won’t even get looked at. Because the more we look at something from a positive perspective, then the more of that intention of the positive outcome has a chance of coming to fruition. Right. Is that, would you agree with that?
Theresa Byrne 20:36
I absolutely would. And I’d also say that our brains are designed and developed in different ways. And for someone who is a worrier, or has the vigilance, let’s call it, they’re usually the front warning signs, the canary in the coal mine, I mean, they alert us to things, the difference is, the minute it starts to spin over the past what’s comfortable, it becomes come stress or adrenaline in our body, then it starts to, you know, cause all kinds of health issues. But the difference is outlining a plan. If this bad thing happens, these are the three solutions. If I lose my home, I will move into my parents basement, I will move into my friends basically like you know, and worst case scenario, my business goes up or you know, my business goes down and I have to close the doors. My biggest fear would be I’m homeless? Well, no, here are three opportunities other than being homeless, here are three options other than being homeless. So at least I got that covered. Yeah, the difference is, for anyone who has vigilance or a worrying part to them, you can’t shut it down and be like telling your brain not, you know, don’t think of the White Tiger. Wait, there’s a white tiger, what kind of protect, but the difference is allowing it to be part of who you are, but don’t let it define you. And if it becomes a negative robs you of energy. Let it go figure out what you’re saying. When you talk to yourself.
Susan Friesen 22:00
You know, one thing that just popped in my mind that would be very beneficial is to write a gratitude journal. Because sometimes when people who are worriers, you know, they’re they, they’re mired in that negative energy force field too much. And they need to be reminded of what is all the positive stuff that’s going on in the world. So I’ve been doing this for years, every night, I go to bed, and I, you know, doesn’t matter if it was the most horrific, worst day of my life, I will think of three positive things that I’m grateful for. And, and it just shifts the energy.
Theresa Byrne 22:34
We are never given an obstacle without the way to get through it. And we are never given a potentially bad outcome without a gift. Something that we learned something that we won’t do, again, something that we use to inspire others. There are so many examples out there of people who have had devastating circumstances, and they’ve turned it into a gift. Yeah, we can all do that we can all look for okay. I had to file bankruptcy. But what I learned from that is this, or we can all do that. And I love the gratitude journal. Because once one of the studies shows that gratitude and fear or worry cannot live in the same space in your head, you cannot have both at the same time.
Susan Friesen 23:20
Right? Yeah, that’s beautiful. I love that. I never heard that before. But that makes so much sense. Yeah. So I think we’ve covered it, but I just want to make sure that there was there anything further you want to say about you know, some of the ways that you can literally we can give advice for to stop being stopped how to stop being.
Unknown Speaker 23:39
Oh, so I have a TED talk on ted.com called the dangers of your inner bully, one of the most important things listen to the voice that is talking to you in your head. And when we beat ourselves up, we rob ourselves of that valuable time. And we can create our own adrenaline reaction. So listen to what you say, when you’re talking to yourself, learn how to call that part of yourself to stop beating yourself up. And the other part, I think, is that we all have it. We all have a voice that might tell us we’re not doing so awesome. But learn how to learn how to hear it first, and then learn how to start working with it.
Susan Friesen 24:23
That is so important. I don’t think there’s a human being on Earth that has not heard that inner critic, you know, the one that says, you know, you’re, you know, what the heck are you doing here, girl.
Unknown Speaker 24:34
All the way to like, beating ourselves up like, like, profusely to just like, You’re a mess, or what were you thinking or, you know, judging ourselves like, there’s that whole spectrum.
Susan Friesen 24:46
Yes. Yeah, that whole spectrum. And so I think yeah, even just the very first step is to acknowledge it to recognize it. Oh, wait a second. Yeah, okay. I just heard myself and then turn it into a positive, you know, but wait, you know, I know you said that, but you know, look at all these good things that are going on. And then then we’re shifting that energy. You know, I love it. Yeah, oh man, we can we can talk about this all day, but we’re gonna, we’re gonna, we’re gonna leave it at that unless you had any parting words of wisdom. And then I would love to have you tell people where they can go to learn more about what you do and how you can help them and get over these energy blocks and get more power and enthusiasm for their business and their life.
Unknown Speaker 25:34
Yeah, and their relationships and there. I run a program, you can check it out on Theresa byrne.com, the spelling of my name as it appears on the screen, Theresa byrne.com. And I’m actually offering a free gift to do an assessment of who are the sabotaging voices in your head. So we oftentimes have things that are helpful in our heads and things that are not helpful. The saboteur assessment will help you understand and outline what the characterization of some of those sabotaging voices might be, and give you a plan to start helping you deal with and work through those saboteurs so that they don’t have to keep running the show, we think we have to worry, because it’s proven that we have or in all of our lives, we’ve been shown that if we’re not worried chaos will ensue. No, that’s not how we were put on the planet. So the work that I do is a lot of positive intelligence. I’m a certified Positive Intelligence coach. And I help people access the parts of their minds and their brains that work for them, not against them.
Susan Friesen 26:47
I love that. So everybody, you’ll find the full URL to her free gift in the show notes here somewhere on this page, just go ahead, please click on it. And even if you think that this doesn’t apply to you, maybe you’re like me and you’re not a worrier. But trust me, there’s still those negative messages that are going on in our heads, whether we put a lot of energy into it and worry about it or not. I think there is, like I said before, there’s nobody on earth who can’t benefit from understanding more about what’s going on in our minds, how we’re reacting to certain challenges that are coming up. And, and you know, how we, how we navigate this world that we have plunked ourselves in as entrepreneurs and business owners. And, you know, I think that I’m trying to I think I’d seen a thing somewhere, I’m sorry, I’m quoting something that I can’t remember anything about it. But other than that, the premise was that the business owners who really do succeed, they’re the ones who have figured out how to overcome what’s going on in their heads.
Unknown Speaker 28:01
And I will say, you may not be a worrier, but if you’re overwhelmed, or drained or stressed or anxious, or short or upset or angry, then there is some level of dealing with this. That needs to happen.
Susan Friesen 28:17
Yeah, yeah, absolutely, then I’m certainly not immune to it at all. And so the the end of the day, what we wanted to tell you, the viewer is that these challenges, even though they may seem concrete and valid, and this is it’s black and white, it’s factual. There’s other ways that you can be looking at it. And if you look at it with an open mind with the possibility that there are solutions to every problem, you will get through them, you’ll get over them, you’ll get around them, you’ll get under them. But it’s all how you tackle them. That’s how that’s the key. So thank you, thank you so much, Teresa for sharing that insight. I think that it was a an amazing conversation, just a little bit that you were able to share with us in the short amount of time. And everybody please go to the link that’s on this page somewhere to take advantage of that free gift that truth is giving you and you know, be open to the possibilities of learning that there’s more that you can be doing to help you and your business to fulfill your vision. So thanks again, Teresa, appreciate you being here.
Lorraine Ellen Scott 29:25
Thank you, for you, the viewer.
Susan Friesen 29:27
I also appreciate you coming here too. And please remember to always lead your life with kindness not just to other people but also to yourself. So that’s it. We’ll talk to you next time. Bye for now.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
