Today on Overcoming Roadblocks, I’m speaking with Life/Business Coach Kathleen Carlson.

Kathleen is an intuitive Life/Business Coach for female leaders, best-selling international author, founder of Straight Up Executive Consulting, speaker, and facilitator with more than 30 years of leadership experience with a Fortune 50 Retailer. She has the gift of insight that couples beautifully with her love for people. She is intuitive and skilled in big-picture visioning.

Join us as we discuss today’s topic: Where Did You Get That Idea From?

In this inspiring episode, you’re going to learn:

• What roadblocks really are
• What you have control over (you’re more powerful than you may realize!)
• How to become empowered to achieve your goals

If you’ve experienced any kind of roadblock in your business and you want to pave a clear path moving forward in 2023, then you will relate to what Kathleen has to share on this episode!

May you lead your life with kindness,

Susan Friesen
Visionary Brand Strategist

Kathleen Carlson is an intuitive Life/Business Coach for female leaders, best-selling international author, founder of Straight Up Executive Consulting, speaker, and facilitator with more than 30 years of leadership experience with a Fortune 50 Retailer. She has the gift of insight that couples beautifully with her love for people. She is intuitive and skilled in big-picture visioning. She will assist you as you go within and envision, design, and achieve a life that supports both your professional and personal missions with excellence.

If you want to know more… join in a conversation @CallwithKathleen.com or visit StraightUpSuccess.com.

Transcript

Susan Friesen  0:00

Hello, and welcome to overcoming roadblocks that are preventing your success. I am so excited to have you on board and watching this six part series, all dedicated towards entrepreneurs who are struggling in their business, whether you are just starting off, maybe you’ve just quit your corporate job, and you have this vision of wanting to start a new business, but you’re just not sure where to go and how to start. And it just feels like there’s just all these roadblocks happening preventing you from fulfilling that vision of making a difference in the world, or you’ve been around for a while you’ve been struggling and you know, it’s just like plugging away. And it’s like, why is it so hard? Why can’t I just make this work. And that’s why I put this series together. And I am so excited for the guests that I have on today because she is an intuitive life coach, and she works with business owners just like you helping them understand where are those roadblocks coming from? And why are they happening? Why do they keep cropping up? And most importantly, what can we do to get rid of them, get them out of our way, so that we can start doing what we want to do. So welcome to the show, Kathleen, this is Kathleen Carlson.

Kathleen Carlson  1:21

Everyone. Hello, Susan, thanks for having me here today. And I gotta say you’re so timely with this, I just the suffering we see all over right now. And especially, it’s really tough to be a business owner and be out there on your own right now. And this couldn’t be any better place right now the overwhelm is everywhere. So thank you for having me here and having that chance to have an impact on that.

Susan Friesen  1:48

Thank you for saying that, Kathleen, because you know, as I introduced you as an intuitive coach, and it was my intuition, like I just had this need, it was something that I have been witnessing, especially since COVID. Nobody has really gotten back into their groove again, or if they have, there’s a lot of internal dialogue going on. That’s just, you know, some negative stuff. And there’s just this oppression going on is just so much happening in our life, that I just felt I just had this calling and I and I so thank you for responding to my call. And I’m putting we this was like really quick, we decided to do this really fast. And we needed to get it out there really fast so that everybody can get going in 2023 on an excellent start. So I can’t wait to, you know, to have this whole series put together so that everybody can enjoy all of the valuable insights and, and information that they’re going to get. But today we’re gonna talk about why these roadblocks? Well, not even why they’re happening, but what are they? So why don’t we start off with that? Can you help us explain what exactly are roadblocks and why does everybody have them?

You know, it’s kind of interesting, because everybody does have them. Right? And so where do they come from? Why do we have them? And how do we use them? Because you mentioned COVID. And that’s interesting. It knocked the software blocks a little bit. And that’s kind of what a roadblock is, right? It’s something that stops us and says, Okay, hopefully it stops. And it says this isn’t working, we need to we need to make a different turn. COVID brought this giant mirror out right to show everybody, hey, something needs to be different. And that creates a lot of stress. And people, not everybody embraces change. So change in itself can be a huge roadblock, knowing what to do in the face of change and how it’s gonna affect you and fear, fear, the fear of how it’s all gonna work. But one of the largest roadblocks I find is that big giant mindset that says, hey, you know, this is what I’m thinking. And this is why something is expected to get exactly this way. And then of course it doesn’t. So that comes up as a big giant disappointment, failure, red block, right? Or this is how exactly it should go. And it does. And so, you know, you sail right through. Most of us don’t have a whole bunch of those sailing right through things. So I think the gray blocks the worst roadblocks I mean, there’s real roadblocks, for sure. They come up, you know, stores, close business changes. Those are things that just happen you have to adjust. But I think you’re more heading toward the what are the roadblocks that we put in there for ourselves. And that’s kind of why I titled today. Where did you get that idea? Because we often operate with these preconceived notions and we make them fact for ourselves. You know, we get them at, you know, the very beginning of our life when people are trying to teach us the right ways. And we’re getting influences from everywhere. And they’re kind of working on the back of our head. And so whenever we’re facing any situation, especially anything in business, we’re relying on what we think we know. And I guess that’s why I say, where did you get that idea? Challenge that for yourself? Is that even your idea? Is that a belief that you want to really embrace? Or is there a better thought? If you could throw it all out and start over? What would that look like?

Yeah, and that’s really fascinating. Because you’re right, like, where did you get that idea? From? Where did you get the idea from? That you have to do everything yourself? No, we’re right, we’re gonna get the idea that, that you have to be in competition with everybody. And there’s just so there’s so many nuances to entrepreneurship, where yeah, I’m ending up asking the client, you know, Okay, where did you get that idea from? That you had to do it this way? Or are you wrong? And so we’re very vulnerable, sometimes as entrepreneurs, because we don’t know everything, we don’t know, every single thing that there is that needs to be known to create a very successful business. And then that leads to all kinds of self talk that’s that can be addressed with Where did you get that idea from?

Kathleen Carlson  6:25

Oh, my gosh, and it’s that self talk that, you know, it starts out as a thought, then it comes out to your mouth. Next thing, you know, it’s an action and you’re, and you’re full blown into it. And then your ego keeps you staying in it, because you need to be right or whatever. But it’s a slippery, slippery slope.  And the funny thing is, like, that’s not maybe not so funny. I don’t think we all really realize how much a thought or a belief in one area of our life can affect all areas of our life, including, and probably most, especially business, you can have something that you embraced as something you know, from a very young age, that just really simply isn’t true, and yet you’re operating on it. And it doesn’t at all feel like you and there’s a reason that doesn’t, because it’s probably not you, it’s probably something you just picked up and took along. And before you know it, you’re in you’re starting your business, your career, your life, your whatever it is that you’re giving your passion to. And you’ve got a big bag full of everybody else’s thoughts. So the challenge lies in what is it that drives me? What do I know about me? What do I know, that’s true for me that I can use and create this life that I want? And that’s a big challenge.

Yeah, and that’s so awesome. I’m so glad that you brought that up. Because I think a lot of people, we just don’t realize how much our childhood is affecting our adult life. And it is those beliefs that we picked up as a as a little child. And, and it could be something so innocent, like an uncle or a mom or a dad saying something very innocently. And we interpreted that completely different, and made that truth made that a truth about ourselves. And then from there on, many of our choices that we make, whether it’s in our life, or in our business, is based on that false truth. And I just find that this very fascinating, because it’s, I think it’s important that we all realize, that are the choices that we make right now are based on beliefs that we created back when we were very young. And, and it’s our subconscious, trying to keep us safe. Right? That’s the whole purpose of our subconscious is to keep us safe. So no, don’t do that. You’re gonna, you know, lose money or whatever. And, and so it’s, I think that’s one of the main reasons why I really wanted to have this series is to help people understand that, you know, the reason why things are happening is because of a succession of choices that got you to this point. And then the choice of how to deal with this point two, and you were talking about COVID When I when I when COVID hit me, I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, like I was literally almost getting into depression, because everything just felt so irrelevant all of a sudden, like, yeah, so anyway, that’s a whole nother topic. But yeah, let’s talk more about these roadblocks and, and how, you know, how do you go into more detail about how these beliefs that we created when we were young kids? How do they affect us now as business entrepreneurs and you know, what can we learn from that? What can we do with that?

Oh, my gosh, that is such a big question. And it is such an important question. You know, and let’s first just say most of these things that we these beliefs and things that we carry around, they were brought to us in a very innocent way, for the most part, you know, our parents did the best they could our grandparents, or churches, or schools, whatever it is, but from a very young age, everybody wants to influence us, because they want to help us, right. And as you said, not everything is helpful, right? Because you start to assign different meanings to it. And then before you know it, you’re acting upon that, and it might serve you or it might not, and that’s what I like to talk about that, you know, disempowering beliefs and the things you know, and, and that’s where we sort of get in trouble, right. But most of what we think we know and spend our life doing, they remember our choices in the first place. You know, there’s, there’s two things that most of us don’t want to hear is that you’re exactly where you are today, based on the choices you’ve made in your life. And, and that’s a very hard pill to swallow for some, you don’t want to own that. And then there’s also a reality of, I was never really making the choices. In some cases, I was doing the next thing that everybody said, or thought I should do right from the very beginning, when you’re going to be a good little girl. And then we know what a good little girl looks like a good little girls helpful. She’s never mean, she’s always you know, so we describe that, then we have that big piece, right? And then it’s, well, if you’re gonna make it in the world, you got to work hard, well, I’ve got to work hard, I’ve got to compete, I’ve got to get out there. But I still have to be this good little girl. So sometimes the the things we think we know, and we want to take as these tools that others gave us are sometimes in conflict with each other. So you know, they just kind of continue to roll. So the way to get out of that. And the way I work with my clients is, well, first of all, we got to start with clarifying what it is you want in the first place. You know, my five year old granddaughter will tell you that she either wants to be a doctor or a ballerina. Right? Yeah, and we’ve seen a little boy there’s going to be a fire at my brother used to be he was either going to be a priest, or he was going to be a dancer because my mom used to listen to you know, certain music, they’re pretty far away. So we’re pretty impressionable, right. But, but you kind of as you grow, your choices get more limited. You know, mom, dad, 01, the college, you’re gonna do this, you’re gonna live here, you’re gonna do, and they’re guiding us. But the truth is, most of those choices were never ours. And we’ve embraced them. And some of them have been good, but some of them have not been good. So the first place to start really is to get clear, get clear about what it is you really want. In all facets of your life. Number one question they say, if you can, you can read about it all you want. It’s the hardest question for any of us to answer. You want to stump somebody at a party, ask them what they want.

Susan Friesen  12:46

If I was just gonna say to you, like, how do we figure that out? You don’t? I don’t know if I still know. It’s a tough question.

Kathleen Carlson  12:57

It is, it is for sure. I started a lot of my talks that with you know, how many of you still are figuring out what you want to be when you grow up? And and usually people laugh and then there’s a little bit of an uncomfortableness, because it’s like, Oh, that would be me. That would be me. And there’s nothing wrong with that. And you know, what, you at any point, you can pivot at any point, you can adjust and add to what you already are. But so how do you get there? Most people start out with what I don’t want, we’re very clear on what we don’t want, right? So that’s a process that I take people through and we go from, maybe from what we don’t want to what we do want. And then in we look at we break it down into pieces, you know, what do you want with your business, your career? Why do you want that? Why is it why is the big important part. And then the second part is like, Okay, so now you know what you want, let’s say for your health and your relationships, and all the things that are important to you. And now you’ve got a pretty clear idea. And you’ll get clear, because there’s never one answer right to you as you unpack this. But so the next thing is, is okay, now what it is, what is if you really want that, and I really kind of test that, because sometimes we think we want things we really don’t, especially women, we want to be, you know, we see the runway models, when I’m gonna be a size five to Well, do you really because at five foot 10 to be a sys to you’re gonna get to eat about 700 calories a day. And you gotta, you know, is that really what you want? You know, so we test and we saved the acid test. Is that really? Which one? Do you want to run your own business? You know, here’s what it takes, right? So you have to take that big look. So you figure out what you want, then you figure out what’s keeping you from it. You know, and that’s where the beliefs come in. Where did you get that idea? And what if, what if we could rewrite that story? Or what if we could take a new empowering stance? Melissa Pierre has a book out there that I just love and it’s called tell yourself a better lie. So it’s like, yeah, and it’s really good. It’s a real simple, you know, this doesn’t have to be, you know, three years on a couch anywhere. It’s kind of like wait a minute, as you said we misinterpret.

Sometimes where we give meaning to things that didn’t really matter a challenge is that it says, okay, is that really what that meant? Or is that what that has to mean to you today? Maybe not. So you get clear on, you know, what’s blocking you. And then you decide when you know what you want, why you can’t get there, you give yourself some new empowering beliefs, that’s sort of the tell yourself a different story. Maybe or, or you just see things for what they really were, you know, and people for what they really were, we expect so much from our parents and looking back, we want to blame and put shame on and why was the My Loved? Well, you know, we just take a fresh look, is that really what was going on? Or how could you rephrase that? You know, so, and most importantly, you kind of learn to forgive and love yourself, because that’s we really challenged ourselves of all the things we could have done better specially women, were always redefining right. So then that third, and you know, big piece of that also is, now I know what I want to know what’s been keeping me from and I know what I can do instead. So who do I have to be? In order to have what I want? Not? What do I have to do so much? But who do I have to be? Is this something I’m ready to embrace? Am I ready to embrace new beliefs or embrace beliefs that I buried a long time ago? Am I willing to embrace my own values in order to get where I want to go? And if so then what are you willing to do to get that? Because I really believe that every person out there deserves to live their vision, their life their way? And I really sort of know most of us aren’t doing .

Susan Friesen  16:39

Yeah, you know, it’s, it’s fascinating what you’re saying. And it. It sounds so simple, the way you’re explaining it. But I’m hearing voices. Yeah, but you don’t know what I’ve gone through. Yeah. But you don’t know the circumstances that I’m suffering in? Or yeah, but so can you even address that a little bit? Because you’re, you’re Yeah, you’re you’re explaining this beautiful blueprint on how to create an amazing life and amazing business. But there, I can hear it. I can hear our audience going. Yeah, but that’s easy. Where’s that? Yeah. But coming from?

Kathleen Carlson  17:26

Well, first of all, I’m gonna say it’s, it’s not hard. But it’s probably not easy, either. It’s something you need to commit to. And it’s for those people that really want to take their life from successful to significant. And there is a big difference. And I think at this stage of the game, or this stage of everybody’s career, when they you know, got the business. You don’t need another self help book. Frankly, if information were all we required, we’d all be you know, what is it they say rich then, you know, have everything we want to write because information is not a problem experiences. So, to the Yeah, butters, and I’ve spent my time doing a lot of that. What’s really required is you gotta get out of your story. Because I don’t there’s no buddy, at you know, what, pick an age of 4030, whatever, really, nobody gets out alive, right? They say, there’s nobody that’s unscathed. There isn’t anybody that couldn’t go, you have no idea what I’ve suffered. I mean, we’ve, everybody’s got trauma, there’s, you know, there could be all kinds of varying degrees. And everybody can hang on that what it is, is, it’s a decision to say, today and going forward, I’m not going to live my life that way any longer. Because you can hang on to the stories and the Yeah, buts as long as you want. And my question is, how’s that serving you? How is that serving you? Is that taking you where you’re going? We just do a lot of unnecessary suffering at the hands of our own minds, right? We we torture ourselves. And it’s pretty unnecessary.

Susan Friesen  19:03

Yeah, I love where you’re going with that. Because, you know, I can, I can totally see how it’s our story that we tell ourselves, and we justify that story with the facts that we seek out that will justify that story. Ignore the facts that don’t justify that story. Because is it true that, like I mentioned the subconscious earlier is it isn’t a case where the subconscious is keeping you in that story, even though it’s not where you want to be, but it’s where your subconscious is safely held. Is that kind of what’s going on here?

Kathleen Carlson  19:41

Yeah, that is that is such a powerful thought. And, and, and so true, right? So if you think about the subconscious versus the conscious mind versus you know, our bodies are how out there healing shawls whatever, okay, so the subconscious mind, that’s its job, you said that early on, you know, and it’s like a record player, right? Or a record, right, the old, you know, album. Yeah, there was definitely groups and literally everything that’s happened to us in our life is in there ready to be played in our subconscious. And one thing that we all need to know too is that the more heightened our emotions are, when any of those events happen, the deeper the group, so there’s traumas, those things, you know, you fell down, that didn’t pick you up you, you know, whatever it is, whatever you’ve got, as what’s going on, when when something meets you in life, and it brings up that same emotion, your subconscious mind cannot do anything other than to go right back to that space, because that’s how it’s created. It goes to that safety notion. And so you know, that’s why changing our habits is so very hard. That’s why willpower doesn’t work, because it’s very hard. So you have to take the steps to really reenact another life. One thing I’m not sure everybody knows, or has experienced is the fact that whatever you tell yourself, whether it’s real or not, is true to you, right. And when you go to look for evidence for that, your brain will search and search and search for proof that you’re right. So this is a small example. But it was a weird example. It was something I used to do, I used to say I had in mind movies, I can take a situation. And I did it frequently as a you know, as a young person. And you know, even growing into my 20s, I created these movies of all the things that weren’t so great. And I think I thought I was teaching myself to not put myself in that position again. But what I was really doing was traumatizing myself over and over. Because every time I recreated that bad situation, in my mind, my physical self experienced, you know, that’s why, you know, we can not only make ourselves sick, and we can heal ourselves. But it’s, it’s largely to do with that subconscious mind. So it’s really important to know what you’re saying to yourself what you’re putting in, and really calling yourself out I’m doing on the monkey mind and talking to myself and not letting myself go too crazy. That’s one of the you know, there’s so many techniques and so many ways to stop that and to address the habits. And one of them is to realize when you’re in that, yeah, but to recognize it. Yeah. And just say, How’s that serving you right now? Does it? You know, you can argue all day about anything. Is that a benefit to you? Or are you open to a new possibility?

Susan Friesen  22:50

Yeah, and, and open to acknowledging that it could be different and we need to, yeah, we need to kind of addressed that. And if I may share a really personal story, because it’s so appropriate for this because it’s, it’s so bang on and I at the time, it didn’t realize that that’s what happened, but it is, so years ago, I won’t get into a lot of detail. But we were really badly victims of identity theft, like really severe. And it put me into a depression. I couldn’t get out of bed. I played Tetris until four in the morning. You know, like, my whole life, I gained tons of weight. And one more and I was wallowing. I was absolutely wallowing replaying every sad scenario in my life. You know, you know, I my subconscious wanted to keep me there, because that’s where I needed to be to save myself from the reality of what was going on. That was my Yeah, but But it’s interesting that you said it ends with a decision. And I woke up one morning, and I said to myself enough, enough, and I got out of bed. And that day, I enrolled into my business degree program. And I started I went back to school, we were flat broke, we had lost everything we’re about to lose our house. But if I went back to school, I got student loans and we lived off of this. So there’s a solution to everything. I mean, I was at the bottom of depths This is before vision media started just before it was literally the catalyst that got the vision media began. But you know for anybody out there who is really struggling, who has no money who is going over these challenges, and if you if any of what we’re seeing today is resonating with you that you’re it’s much easier to just lay in bed, put the covers over your head and just wallow man is that easy to do. But is that serving you is that getting you where you want to be is that you know is that really what you want to be doing with your life, and you have to do is decide. And so if you’re ready to make that decision, I’m going to invite you to have a session with Kathleen, because Kathleen will help you, you don’t have to do this alone. And there’s lots of people out there who are very qualified, you have the tools who have the expertise, and Kathleen is one of them. And she so graciously is offering you, our viewer, a 60 minute discovery session with her for free. And I’m gonna read to you what she promises that you’re going to leave with three things after this 60 minute session. And as you’re going to get clarity around what you really want. And we talked about that Kathleen, like a lot of people don’t even know what they really want. I mean, yeah, I won’t even get into my story about what I don’t know what I really want. And so she’s going to help you with that. And then she’s also going to help you identify what’s keeping you from having it. So we, you know, she talked about, you know, that that step that next step, and then know who you have to be and what you do to have what you want what to do in order to have what you want. So I love how you phrase that Kathleen, that who we are circumstance that we’re in right now, this is who we are this these are, this is our mindset right now, this is the thoughts that have gotten us to this position at this moment in time. But if we want to get 10 steps ahead, however, that looks like we need to be and do something different, where we’re gonna keep doing the same thing and get the same results. Right.

Kathleen Carlson  26:45

Exactly, exactly. And I love how you describe your roadblock and all the horrible things that sort of led to it. And I want to ask everybody to open up to that possibility. Because what if it wasn’t the worst thing that could happen? Because in that moment, I’m sure you felt very much like it was the worst thing that can happen. But look where it led you will lead you once you let go and said what if what can happen now, you discovered possibilities. And somehow you were guided to make the right choices? Because it’s brought you to where you are in a day. And everything’s not an a dead end. Roadblocks are not necessarily dead ends.

Susan Friesen  27:24

Yeah, yeah, they might, they might need a shift or pivot or LEAP or something. But yeah, yeah. Just ask yourself, what if?

Kathleen Carlson  27:35

What if?

Susan Friesen  27:36

What if there’s another opportunity out there? What if? What are the other possibilities that I’m not seeing? Because I haven’t allowed myself to see them yet?

Kathleen Carlson  27:44

That’s right. Stay curious.

Susan Friesen  27:46

Open yourself up to that possibility and just say Enough, enough, I’m reading. And, yeah, so go to www.callwithkathleen.com. You’ll see that link somewhere in the show notes here. And please take her out for for that free gift. I think it’s an amazing opportunity to get you starting to think about the what ifs and what opportunities are right on the horizon that you’re just not seeing. And it’s okay that you’re not seeing them. I want to make sure Kathleen right. We are not here to condone or condemn or judge or anything. We are here to help you understand that there is answers. There are solutions. And there’s possibilities and opportunities out there waiting for you. You just need to see them.

Kathleen Carlson  28:35

Yes, you’re so powerful, so talented, so needed in the world. And I really implore you whether it’s me or somebody else. Don’t let that dream die inside of you. Please don’t let’s at least talk and find a way to make it happen for you.

Susan Friesen  28:48

Yeah, absolutely. And then when you’re done working with Kathleen, and you have that vision, and it’s crystal clear, then you come back to me and I’ll help you fulfill that vision.

Kathleen Carlson  28:57

Yes, yes. Teamwork here.

Susan Friesen  29:00

Yes, yeah. Because it that’s why I’m doing this series because I’ve worked with so many entrepreneurs and they think they need me but what they need is help to get through these roadblocks first, and then they’re ready to, to use my guidance and my expertise to help them get positioned and shine in the world and achieve their goals and get them seen and known and heard so that they can help so many other people.

Kathleen Carlson  29:28

So that’s what we’re looking for the world to be such a better place when we’re all doing what we’re supposed to be doing and helping each other and doing that with ease. Stop the suffering business is not meant to be so hard. It’s it really can be a very enjoyable ride. We want to help you get there.

Susan Friesen  29:45

That’s so true. Yeah. And it all starts up here.

Kathleen Carlson  29:53

So thank you so much, Kathleen. I so appreciate this conversation. I love it that you know that we introduced the this idea to everyone the possibilities, and I hope you the viewer are leaving with a little niggling of hope. And, and you’re just thinking about just sitting in quiet a little bit and just think about it and read watch the replay and just kind of explore the possibilities and ask yourself what hap, whatever. Just see what’s waiting for me.

Yes, exactly. I can’t wait to see what can happen for you. I know. Yeah. And let us know.

Susan Friesen  30:29

Please let us know. Yes.

Awesome. Thank you so much, Kathleen. I so appreciate you and I appreciate the goodness that you’re bringing to the world and the amount of help that you do with people and getting them getting them help to overcome these challenges. Because we know that everything is overcome come-able.

Kathleen Carlson  30:48

It is for sure it is for sure. Thank you so much.

Susan Friesen  30:52

Oh, you’re very welcome. All right. Well talk to everybody next time and please lead your life with kindness not just for yourself, but for others as well. We’ll talk to you later.

Kathleen Carlson  31:01

Bye. Bye, everyone.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai