eBusiness Blog

3 Hidden Transformation Opportunities When Under Pressure

3  Hidden Transformation Opportunities When Under Pressure

In entrepreneurial life we are under constant pressure. Some imposed by our clients and some by our own expectations.

Cash flow needs to stack up and customers need to be satisfied.

The more pressure we are subjected to the further we can move from feeling good to being under pressure. The stress that begins to accumulate can also stifle the joy that we would otherwise feel.

These are a few of the negative outcomes of pressure. But the good news is, there’s hidden silver linings in such moments that are often under debated.

There are three main ones detailed in this article. Each of these points shed light on an opportunity for transformation when facing pressure.

  1. Overwhelm Teaches Self-Awareness

    When we are in overwhelm there is a part of our emotional system that begins to flare up. It will show its presence in a variety of ways.

    It could be a silent moment of swallowing back a tear.  It could be an abrupt word with a colleague that alerts us that our internal emotional state has lost its center.

    When we lash out it merely indicates we are not happy internally and we have inadvertently slipped into judgment of those around us.

    When we fail to find time to connect diplomatically, we are momentarily forgetting what it means to be a compassionate human being.

    But worst of all these outside indicators are pointing to internal sabotage.

    We are judging others because we are in fact still judging ourselves! The internal judge is always stronger towards self than others.

    We are lashing out because we are failing to connect with our deepest joy-filled, calm space inside. IF we were grounded in this way, the abruptness would not have arisen.

    Thus we are not being compassionate toward ourselves because had we been, we would have chosen a joy-filled inner state! This is a sad truth….

  2. Understanding Leads to Self-Compassion

    Once we are aware that living with pressure is failing to be compassionate to ourselves, a moment to reflect can change everything.

    The reflection could evaluate how our biggest recent success arose? Did it happen under pressure or was it a byproduct of when we were the most calm?

    I know for sure, the more I stay calm and enjoy myself the easier it becomes to manifest what I want. In fact our earliest successes often came with ease, unexpectedly, whilst we were simply being ourselves and enjoying ourselves!

    They did not arise because of self imposed pressure, and we forget that when we live our entrepreneurial life!

    If we see it as we are wasting energy when we pour it into worry, panic or imposing stress or feeling outside expectations, we might become more thoughtful about this wastage.

    Instead all that energy could be redirected and used more resourcefully. By keeping the momentum on the task at hand we become more productive and HAPPIER too.

    This is self-compassion… reuniting us to our original desire to be in this particular line of work.

  3. Breath and its Connection with Fear

    If you watch yourself carefully, when you are under pressure, your breath does not go so deep into your belly. It sort of remains in the upper quadrant of your body and sometimes is held back and constricted.

    Try to experiment right now. Imagine a stressful situation and watch what happens to your breath.

    It naturally becomes shallower. Stress is always accompanied with fear. “Fear I won’t make my rent.”, “Fear I wont be able to satisfy the deadline.”… Fear to be rejected, criticized etc.

    When we are calm, the nervous energy in our body is not felt.

    Instead the fear that surfaces from not meeting expectations dissolves into its polar opposite- and fills your body with excitement and anticipation of success. It has a very light and expansive feel to it.

    This is the sort of feeling you initially felt when you first launched into this career.

    So in its simplest form, when under pressure remind yourself to breathe deep down into your feet. As soon as you do that you will start taking the energy away from fear and overwhelm, into grounded-ess.

    Use the earth to support you. Push the breath deep down into the ground, through your feet, as if you are laying roots into the floor to support you.

This simple act of self-awareness can redirect you back into your current moment reality, away from the emotional volatility that comes with pressure.

Use these moments to reflect, become more aware and use your breath to become more self-compassionate!

About the Author, Kindi Gill ACA

Kindi Gill

Are you extremely responsible but tired and wish someone could now nurture YOUR needs? Is your family life in need of a boost and ready to be revitalized into unity? Is there room for improvement in your relationships at home so that your work-life is better supported? If you are struggling with adversity, contact Kindi Gill for a complimentary 30 minute consultation.

Kindi is a CEO, Revitalization Consultant, Inward Leadership Mentor and Keynote Speaker. She has 30 plus years of experience in leadership, is trained as a Chartered Accountant and is a member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers. Kindi is also one of 11 people trained as a facilitator of the Self Healing Dalian Method, an evolutionary tool that bypasses the mind, created by a modern day mystic, Mada Eliza Dalian who revolutionized Kindi's own life back into wholeness.

Call her at 778-558-5110 for help in getting your life and vibration back on track to achieve its natural potential, so that your gifts can shine, and the rain can eventually stop.

How to Manage Stress from the Inside Out

How to Manage Stress from the Inside Out

It’s just another normal day, right?

You awaken one morning and discover that someone drank the last of the milk and the cereal you were planning for breakfast has now been switched to a quick piece of toast – and you’re all out of your favorite jelly.

Muttering, you head to your car, but not before your partner reminds you that you agreed to pick up the kids today from soccer practice. She/he must work overtime to make up for the missed ½ day last week when the dog had an emergency and had to go to the vet.

Stressed WomanYou grudgingly agree, knowing that in the process your answer was a little harsher than you intended.

Just as you get into your car, you remember you had planned to leave earlier today to buy gas. As you pull into the gas station, you realize that gas prices have jumped 10¢ a gallon. Frustrated, you fill up and head to work, only to sit in stop and go traffic with about another million drivers headed in the same direction.

You reach for your car radio switch, when suddenly the car in front of you brakes, causing you to come within 1-inch of a rear end collision. Your purse, once on the front seat, is now under the pile of papers that you had taken home to work on. You tell yourself to stay calm, but you’re feeling a little unsteady from the near miss.

You arrive at work and are immediately told to report to your manager. Your best customer has phoned in with a complaint and the deal you thought was a sure thing is in jeopardy. And somehow you get the feeling that your job is at risk, too.

You promise to address the issue immediately, but when you sit down at your computer an alert message appears stating that the system is being checked for a virus and won’t be available for another hour. You head begins to hurt and that nagging pain in your back won’t go away. On your way to get some water so that you can take a pain reliever, you run into your good friend, Elizabeth who is obviously on the verge of tears.

You know something is wrong, but have an intense desire to run the other way. You can’t deal with another catastrophe right this minute.

Does this sound like a variation of more days than you’d like to admit? Whether you realize it or not, you have dealt with stress all morning long, and if you do not do something to re-group, you are at risk for something far worse.

Stress 101

For an easy-to-understand primer on the stress crisis afflicting the modern man, modern woman, and yes, even the modern child, let’s begin with a brief lesson called Stress 101.

Everyone has a level of energy that is “normal” for them. The energy level of healthy people can range from rather low to rather high. If it is too low, a medical condition such as low blood pressure, low thyroid, or depression may be culprit.

If your energy level is excessively high, you could be experiencing hyper-activity or some other physical or behavioral disorder. But let’s agree that for most of us, we move through life with a rather stable energy level.

Here’s how it is intended to work

  1. When an event happens that causes you to expend more energy you experience stress.
  2. A certain level of stress is good for you. This is called eustress or productive tension. At this stage, hormones are released into the body to give you an energy boost.
  3. These hormones enable your “fight” or “flight” reaction.
  4. After you have expended the energy, you need to move below your normal stress level so that your nervous system can return to normal and the “energy” hormones can dissipate and not be stored in the body. Your body is then able to return to a normal energy level and ready for the next stressor in life.

But, here’s what happens in the real world:

  1. An event occurs that causes your energy level to go up.
  2. Your hormones kick in and you respond to the stressor (eustress or productive tension).
  3. After the response, your body wants to go to a calming place. However, before you can ever get to the place of normal energy, you probably experience another stressor.
  4. Your body responds by another release of energy (more hormones kick in)
  5. You react to that event.
  6. And again, there is a desire to return to a lower level of energy.
  7. And before that happens, you have another stressor.
  8. Before you know it, you are operating above the productive tension line and operating at a distress level

As you can see, your energy level (and hormonal level) remains escalated. And although your energy level will slow down (often resulting in exhaustion), your hormonal production continues. This results in distress and disease.

Acute and Chronic Stress
Two of the most common types of stress are acute (sudden) or chronic (on-going).

 Acute stress is a reaction to an immediate, unexpected stressor, like:

  • Seeing a child run into a busy street
  • Hearing a loud noise behind you (or even in front of you)
  • A phone call telling you of an emergency
  • Being unexpectedly called on to speak
  • Your child throwing a temper tantrum in front of others
  • A very verbal, highly irritated customer
  • Being pulled out of the airport security line for extensive screening
  • Learning that you have no credit left on your credit card
  • A new romantic interest walking into a party unexpected
  • Winning the lottery
  • Waiting for the final free throw of a basketball game when the score is tied

During acute stress, the unexpected event occurs, you have the appropriate hormonal response, you respond at a higher energy level, and then when the crisis is over, you seek out the first chance you can to relax.

The body can deal with acute stress in small doses. Prolonged bouts of acute stress are very taxing and wearing on the body, rational thinking often becomes distorted thinking, and the rate of accidents and mistakes increases.

Chronic Stress is prolonged stress. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. You don’t feel any hope for the future and feel that you have no power over the situation.  And feeling powerless to impact the situation resonates deeply. Some situations that produce chronic stress are:

  • Being homeless
  • No perceived power in relationships or job
  • Dysfunctional families
  • Trapped in a despised job or career

For most people, though, chronic stress is more often a product of:

  • Too much to do, too many commitments
  • Working in a job we don’t like
  • Working longer hours on the job with little or no reward
  • Too little sleep
  • Disorganization in our living and work environments
  • Financial problems without a solution in sight
  • Fear of losing a job
  • Prolonged illness (yours or a family member’s)

Stress Management Techniques

This background information is intended to raise your awareness about the costly effects of stress. Costs to your health, your relationships, and your personal well-being. It is more important now than ever that individuals do whatever it takes to carve out time to engage in stress reducing activities.

The best way to manage stress is to make time every single day to relax, refresh and re-energize. Although you might join a class to help you learn some relaxation techniques, chances are that making it to class will add even more stress.

The following techniques will help reduce stress, help your body (and mind) find calm and restore your energy. When practiced on a regular basis, you give your body a rest as your hormonal levels return to normal. You, in turn, will be better equipped for managing the

day-to- day stressors that are bound to come your way.

Breathing Technique: The great thing about this exercise is that it can be practiced anywhere, anytime. In fact, some clients tell us that this technique is one they practice prior to starting their day and/or as a bedtime ritual.

It is also beneficial for the transitional times – before going into your home after a day of work, before entering a meeting that may be controversial, before heading out to the golf course or meeting friends for dinner.

Breathing deeply can require conscious attention since we tend to breathe shallowly most of the time. Here is a simple way to practice.

Pretend that your breath is a long ribbon. Give it a color. Imagine that you have a reel in your belly and with each inhale through your nose; you are winding your breath (ribbon) around the reel. Take in the breath slowly and consciously, as your belly expands. When you have inhaled as much breath as possible, let it sit for just a second (Eastern practitioners call this ‘packing chi” or energy). Slowly release the breath, concentrating on the slow rhythmic release of the ribbon. Practice this kind of breathing for about 5-7 minutes. Caution, you may find yourself slightly dizzy when you first try this exercise, especially if you have a tendency for shallow breathing or holding your breath during stress. This process helps the body relax, the buildup of stress-induced hormones to dissipate, and your energy to restore.

Mindfulness: If you have ever arrived somewhere and not remembered the trip or after an event, you can’t even remember who was there (or what they were wearing, or what they talked about), you will benefit from practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a technique where give full attention to your feelings, thoughts, and sensations. You literally live in the moment and experience the sensations of the moment. This exercise takes very little time, but the benefits are tremendous.

To practice mindfulness, you must be willing not to let other things distract you. If your cell phone rings, you simply acknowledge to yourself that your cell phone is ringing, but don’t let your mind wonder who’s calling and for what. During this exercise, look around. Notice the variations of color in the room. Listen intently for any sounds. Notice the feel of the air on your body. Be still, as if you are becoming a part of your surroundings. Be aware of your breathing. Hear the clock tick or the birds chirp. Notice how light reflects, distorts, or illuminates. See what you haven’t seen before. Appreciate your surroundings and feel peace.

Studies have shown that people who practice mindfulness have less pain and more quickly recover from injuries and illness than people who do not.

Self-Talk:  Self talk is exactly what the term implies. It is the thousands of messages that we tell ourselves every day. Self-talk is about judgment. Judging ourselves and judging others.

Make a commitment to pay attention to your self-talk. Be conscious of what words you use to describe yourself and the situation you are in. Shift your negative thinking to positive thinking. When you hear yourself say, “I should be working on that report,” say instead, “I’m glad that I have the opportunity to spend time with my family right now.” Instead of, “a good daughter would phone her mother every day,” say “I’m glad I’m able to check in on my mother and respond when she really needs me.” When we start shifting our perspective to a more positive one, we become energetic instead of stressed or depleted.

Control vs. No Control: Let’s face it, you have control over two things: Your own thoughts and your own behavior. Understanding where you clearly have control can be strengthening. Here’s an example:

You are in the office and someone approaches you with a bit of gossip about a co-worker, Michelle. The gossip includes some rather harsh remarks about something you are passionate about. Michelle has decided that she will not support the annual United Way drive because her time and money are devoted to juvenile diabetes. You might become defensive, antagonistic toward her, and begin forming alliances with others who share your conviction. The truth of the matter is that you have no control over what Michelle values. What you can do is enthusiastically support your cause and have respect for Michelle and her cause.

Another example of control awareness might go something like this. You arrive home from work and realize that the sanitation department did not pick up your overflowing trash container that morning as planned. You can either: 1) fuss and fume, call the city, leave a scathing message, and threaten to leave your trash curbside until someone picks it up. Or 2) you can recognize that the trash was overlooked, call and ask what your next steps should be. Should you leave the trash curbside, or should you roll the container back into your garage? You have no control over the fact that the trash was not collected. What you can control is your response.

The question to ask yourself is this? Do I have any control over this situation? If I do, what are the rational steps I can take to resolve it? If not, am I willing to let it go? This practice in and of itself will reduce most people’s stress level by half.

Lifestyle Changes: Let’s be honest. Much of the stress we experience is a result of choices we make and lifestyles that we lead. The following ideas are beneficial to all people who want to reduce the amount of stress in their life and live healthier:

  1. Organize your living and work space – by doing this, you spend less time searching for things. An organized space is more calming than clutter.
  2. Organize your time. You only have so much time. By organizing your time, you will be able to spend it on things that are of greatest importance to you.
  3. Cultivate a supportive social circle. Research tells us that surrounding ourselves with people who support us and whom we support leads to healthier – and even longer lives.
  4. Take care of your body. Day-to-day stress and day-to-day living take a toll on your body. By engaging in regular exercise, your body is stronger, your stress is lessened and your health increases.
  5. Renew your spirit. The old saying that “attitude is everything” has validity. Reading, vacation, creative activities, journaling, meditating, praying, and experiencing a higher source of power are all ways to renew your spirit.

These techniques are lifestyle changes that create a more calming environment. Instead of depleting you of energy, these choices restore your energy.

Closing Thoughts

Cari Harness once said, “Give your stress wings and let it fly away.” Let’s face it – that is easier said than done. Maybe a more realistic approach is to look at the situations in your life that you can control and can’t control. Give wings to the ones you can’t control and let them go. Just.let.them.go!

What you can control is your long-term response to the stressful events. You also control whether you practice calming techniques. And there are plenty of lifestyle choices that you control.

Perhaps you could start right now by breathing slowly, being mindful of the things around you, creating positive self-talk and watch your stress fly away.

About the Author, Katherine Hartvickson

Kathryn Wilking

Katherine Hartvickson is the founder and president of Hartvickson & Associates, Inc. dba Quantum Ascendance. She is an experienced business consultant and success coach. Since leaving the corporate world in 2009, her clients include business owners and other seriously committed professionals and entrepreneurs who want to gain the confidence and skills to break through the barriers of success and achieve their ideal life.

What separates her service from others is her experience in leading large teams and developing top performers in corporate environments and because of this, clients achieve individual & financial rewards and the recognition they earned without sacrificing their personal life. If you are interested in knowing more, she can be reached at www.QuantumAscendance.com.

The Purpose Behind Our Five Biggest Stressors

The Purpose Behind Our Five Biggest Stressors How to Cope When Dealing With the Death of a loved one, Divorce, A Move, A Major Illness, or A Job Loss

How to Cope When Dealing With the Death of a Loved One, Divorce, A Move, A Major Illness, or A Job Loss

As we tread through the maze of living we all face some form of adversity.  For some of us, we are blessed with fewer significant stressors and for others they keep coming one after the other.

In 2004 I faced a major job loss. In 2006, moved to a new country and during 2007 encountered illness. In 2012 and 2014, I watched my husband go through a cancer diagnosis and the associated fear of death and during 2015 we jointly went through the possibility of divorce and asked for legal representation during a divorce in Utah.

The five main stressors that human beings can face, as portrayed on varying health sites, have been experienced in our family life in the last decade in one form or another.

The Purpose Behind Suffering

When under stress, the meaning of life immediately gets questioned as we face devastation that is out of our control.

The purpose behind suffering inevitably has to be questioned if we are curious and perhaps our life is consequently re-evaluated.

Our relationships and our business goes through the swing of strain and strength.

As our volatile emotions of anger, grief and misunderstandings arise our weakest parts are exposed and challenged.

This acts as a platform and an opportunity to find our confidence and strength, the opposite paradigm to our insecurities and weakness.

The Benefits of Contemplation

As we contemplated in our family, a new realization arose for me. If we are blessed with a determined and courageous spirit, we can look for the silver lining in adversity, rather than simply enduring and suppressing our fears.  This is also true as we navigate through the ups and downs of our business success.

For me, becoming weighed down was a gift in disguise. As human beings we are so versatile and capable and this is what gives us dignity.

The School of Life and Its Lessons

We all have patterns that we follow. Some of us have a mind that is driven by fear of survival and our need to earn a living as a key priority.

Others have patterns of embracing insignificance and hiding behind procrastination and neediness.

Some of us may control more than be adventurous and spontaneous.

Whatever our pattern, none of us would really want to miss out on life and stay trapped living an unfulfilled life. That idea alone makes me very sad.

To not experience the lessons we came to see about ourselves, is an opportunity missed.

As death is escapable, we might as well gain something worth keeping in our journey of existence on this planet.

When we uncover our patterns and transform them into greater light we simultaneously become more loving towards everyone, including our clients and team members.

We begin to understand love beyond biological love and that becomes a deeply rewarding lesson. The more we have personally suffered, the more empathetic and caring we become of those around us too, so all our explorations yield great benefits.

The Purpose of Stressors

In my explorations I have come to see that at every opportunity life is encouraging us to trust and surrender to its wisdom.

We are being asked to let go of our control and clinging attitude to our known reality and instead embrace action that helps us to bring light to our shadow personality.

For me finding the extraordinary tool, the Dalian Method, has been the equivalent of finding that one magical needle in a giant haystack of potential solutions.

This genie has offered answers to my deepest questions and aided my journey towards amazing liberation and freedom.

With this tool I have understood why I had suffered. I understood how to come out of suffering irrevocably. I learnt how to embrace life with a renewed optimistic and fearless response. I learnt how to evolve beyond my limiting beliefs and conditionings so that past trauma could be permanently dissolved and not have to be repeated. Traumas may lead to serious injuries, personal injury lawyer | Craig Kelley & Faultless LLC will advice on different injury situations. Even Smith Jones Solicitors will be able to help you with all that with better service.

Best of all the Dalian Method has made me a better me, a more loving and caring version and thus I now get to enjoy a better quality of life and improved relationships.

What about you? Do you know how to get to the root cause of adversity and quickly eradicate it from your body?

I invite a discussion on how you have handled your stressors in life. What transformation have you experienced? How has it improved your life?

About the Author, Kindi Gill ACA

Kindi Gill

Are you extremely responsible but tired and wish someone could now nurture YOUR needs? Is your family life in need of a boost and ready to be revitalized into unity? Is there room for improvement in your relationships at home so that your work-life is better supported? If you are struggling with adversity, contact Kindi Gill for a complimentary 30 minute consultation.

Kindi is a CEO, Revitalization Consultant, Inward Leadership Mentor and Keynote Speaker. She has 30 plus years of experience in leadership, is trained as a Chartered Accountant and is a member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers. Kindi is also one of 11 people trained as a facilitator of the Self Healing Dalian Method, an evolutionary tool that bypasses the mind, created by a modern day mystic, Mada Eliza Dalian who revolutionized Kindi's own life back into wholeness.

Call her at 778-558-5110 for help in getting your life and vibration back on track to achieve its natural potential, so that your gifts can shine, and the rain can eventually stop.

12 Tips for Thriving During the Christmas Holidays

12 Tips for Thriving During the Christmas Holidays

The holiday season is just about to ramp up big time. We are past Halloween and Remembrance Day, and while there were some decorations up November 1st (shame on them), we are now about to be thrust willing or not into full out holiday mode.

Does the “busyness” of the holidays stress you out? Overwhelm you? Make you want to just say to H E double hockey-sticks to it all?

I do like Christmas, I really do but it can be a bit much if you let it.

In fact, last year I decided to skip it completely and went zip-lining in Belize instead. I fully admit that I felt giddy with the sense of freedom: no decorations, no shopping (besides some new warm weather clothes), no baking, no parties, no cards, nada, nothing.

I spent over 2 weeks relaxing in the sun; it was awesome—one of the best Christmas’s ever (if you have never skipped Christmas, I highly recommend you try it at least once in your life).

However, this year is the exact opposite. I know it is going to be super busy with family coming to stay, tons of shopping, cooking, parties, visits, cards…the whole shebang.

But I’m not too worried because you see over the years, I have devised my very own system for not just surviving the holidays (and especially the 12 days of Christmas), but for thriving during the holidays so that come January 2nd, I don’t need a vacation from it all.

Not only survive this holiday season but thrive with these 12 tips!Click To Tweet

Curious? Well then read on…

Here is my top 12 list for thriving during holidays.

  1. Pick your battles; be realistic in what you can do

    This may seem strange but it is the KEY to thriving during the holidays. Right now (as in today) create your overall holiday strategy. What parties you need to go to? Who is visiting? Where do you need to be? How much baking REALLY needs to happen? How many decorations and when are you putting them up? Shopping? Etc.

    Then look at your plan and cut at least a quarter if not half off your to-dos. Chances are you made such a massive plan that there is no humanly possible way you can do it all. Be realistic and pick only the absolutely most important things and then let the rest go. Yes, let it go, let it go.

  2. Make lists

    See number 1. I make lists for everything. What I’m buying, baking, meal plans, etc. You name it and I have a list for it. This keeps me super organized and I get to put big checkmarks next to things on a daily basis. And who doesn’t like checkmarks?

  3. Organize your shopping.

    I have a shopping strategy that works super well for me. It might for you too. I have two gift shopping days. One in November and one in December. Aside from a bit of additional online shopping and groceries, that is it. The November shopping day is for all the gifts I need to mail. I make a list of all I want to get and I spend a day getting it. Then the next day I package it all up and mail it. Done.

    The December shopping day, I actually really look forward to. It’s a day to myself. I pick a weekday. I have my lists. I wear comfy shoes. I grab my favourite latte and start early. I take a break for lunch at my favourite place and really treat myself.

    I can usually get everything I need in one day (yes, I have 2 kids, a spouse, parents, siblings, friends, etc. to buy for). I am a shopping machine that day, but then it’s done. I feel like a warrior queen coming home from war with my trophies.

  4. Wrap as you buy. Have a wrapping party

    Once you have a gift, wrap it. The day after your epic shopping day (or as soon as you can), put half a day aside to wrap. I like to invite a friend over to help. We have some Bailey’s and snacks. Put on some good tunes and wrap wrap wrap.

    Then we go and do the same at her house on another day. It makes the wrapping so much more fun and gets it done super fast. If you don’t want o invite a friend over, get your spouse to help (if they claim they can’t wrap, teach them).

  5. Keep up with your exercise

    Get outside and go for a walk. Go to the gym if you usually go. Do that Jillian Michaels DVD. Exercise is not just good for your body, but it is amazing for stress relief and your mental health. After a day of battling crazy shoppers, instead of drinking a goblet of wine, go for a short walk around the block. Your mind will thank you.

  6. Sleep as much as you can

    Go to bed early. Have a nap if you like. If you normally aren’t a good sleeper, now is the time to rest as much as possible. I generally have a nap most afternoons. And, I also go to bed at least a half hour earlier whenever possible.

    (Side note: I don’t know about you but wine keeps me wide awake at night. I feel super sleepy at first, then after about an hour I am wide awake for the rest of the night. Avoid those types of things when you can.)

  7. Eat as well as you can; pay attention but don’t stress about it

    I generally eat fairly well but I do love my yummy holiday treats like most people. I love to bake too. In my opinion, life is meant to be enjoyed and lived. Yes, I want to be healthy but I am also not going to stress big time about it (there are enough other things to worry about).

    So while you shouldn’t pig out, and yes paying attention to what you are eating is important, don’t stress about it. That is what January is for. Enjoy the moment while it is there.

  8. Have a cookie baking day

    Want my secret for getting all your baking done in one day? Have a cookie making day event. I get the kids to invite some friends over, I invite a friend or two and then suddenly you have tons of helpers. I often make the dough the night before. Then we put on some great music and create an assembly line with someone rolling the dough out and cutting the shapes while others decorate.

    I usually oversee it all and make those cookies that don’t need to be rolled. At the end of the afternoon, we all clean up together and have tea/hot chocolate and sample our cookies. Everyone gets to take a few home too. And you can check one more thing off your list.

  9. Take quiet moments for yourself, every day

  10. Every single day I need quiet alone time. This does not include sleeping at night. I mean things like a relaxing bubble bath, meditating, reading a book, or even watching a sappy girly movie. While I love everyone dearly, I need time to myself too to unwind and just purge my brain. You do too.

    Even the most extraverted person needs time alone. Learn to enjoy your own company.

  11. Ask for help

    If there was ever a time it was ok to ask for help (and really that is anytime), the holidays are it. You do not have to do it all yourself. Get help with everything from decorating to baking, shopping, making lists, all of it.

    The entire family can be involved. Smaller children can help with decorating and cookie making. Older children can help with wrapping and dishes. Everyone can and should be involved. That way you all have time to snuggle on the couch together to watch the Christmas classics.

  12. Let it go; you don’t need to be perfect

    When it comes down to it, there will be times when you just can’t fit something in. And that’s ok. Let it go. No guilt. No shame. Just let it go. You do not have to be perfect. Your house does not have to be perfect. It is the imperfections that make us interesting.

  13. Have fun

    The holidays shouldn’t just be about lists and getting things done. It is about spending time with loved ones and having fun, sharing your love and gratitude for one another. Bringing joy to the world starting with you. So be sure to add fun and play as much as you can into your plans. Dishes can wait.

Ultimately, it comes down to putting your own mental and physical health first, so that you can then help create the most joyous experience for your friends and family. If you are run down and grumpy… well that’s just no fun at all.

P.S. I could actually give you a list of over 100 tips, but then you would be here reading. Instead, go outside and play.

P.P.S. I’m sure you have some great tips for thriving during the holidays too. Please do share in the comments below. We’d love to read them.

Heather Wilson

About the Author, Heather E. Wilson

Need help? Would you like to learn more ways to avoid burnout, add more fun, more success, and more joy into your life and business? Heather E. Wilson, is a certified transformational coach, author and international speaker who loves to share her passion for helping you take charge of your life and business so that you can have the success and fun you've always dreamed about.

Go to HeatherwilsonInternational.com to view more of her free training and to receive a copy of her FREE ebook: The Burnout Principle.

Exhausted? Stressed? How To Redesign Your Life to Feel Normal Again

Winner! Most Exhausted

Exhaustion seems to be the new “badge of honor.”

It affects both men and women, although women’s nervous systems are not designed to be as resilient to stress as their male counterparts.

We don’t have to look very far for the impact that stress has on our physical health, on your mood, and on your behavior: nagging headaches, frequent insomnia, decreased ability to focus and be productive, anxiety, and weight gain or loss, to name just the tip of the iceberg.

If you think living a stressful life is normal, it’s time to think again, if you are interested in living a quality life.

I remember, when I worked for a Fortune 500 company, getting into the office earlier and earlier and staying later and later.  Arriving home around 8 PM, I would drink a glass of wine with my dinner and then fall asleep – only to repeat the scenario all over again.

Taking time off was discouraged.  “You’ll miss too much if you take a vacation.  Better to spread it out talking a 3-day weekend every so often,” was the advice from my boss!

After four years, and 30 lbs gained, I decided that it didn’t matter how much money you made if you had no time to spend it!

According to The Huffington Post, 40% of workers leave paid vacation days on the table!  And, a recent marketwatch.com post shouts that Americans forfeit over a billion dollars per year in paid vacation days!

What’s up with that?

The path of the entrepreneur is not much different.

Do you notice how you’ve taken over the voice of your boss, insisting that you chain yourself to your desk even on Bank Holidays?

When was the last time you took a vacation longer than 3-5 days?

When do you take the time to smell the roses, or exercise your body?

Does your workday include some balance points that provide a pause, an opportunity to breathe some fresh air, or to sip tea out of a bone china teacup?

If this profile fits you then, perhaps, it’s time to redesign your life!  Here’s how:

  1. Start by noticing where the issues are in your life.
    Is it your health, your stamina, or is it your impact in the world?  Could it be that your finances are drawing your attention more than usual or that you are tired of limping along financially?

    Perhaps, your relationships are up: your partner or spouse, or family, complaining that you aren’t present for them?  When problems surface in life, it’s your sub-conscious trying to get your attention to make a needed change.

  2. Continue by examining your habits.
    Do they make you feel more alive or do you perform them by rote, just because you always have?  We’re not just talking about negative habits like reaching for the next cigarette, pouring that next glass of wine or sitting on the couch all evening; we’re talking about habits that are unconscious.

    Yes, negative habits can be unconscious; are you even aware of how many cigarettes you’ve smoked, or glasses of wine you’ve imbibed?  But, we’re also talking about the habits you do by rote, meaning there is no awareness, no aliveness – you are not even present with what you are doing.

  3. Next, take a look at the beliefs that are running your life.

    How current are they?  Are they even yours, or are they your parents’ beliefs?

    Most of our beliefs are limiting.  For example, many of us were taught to believe in scarcity – or ‘Scare City.’ If this is the belief that drives you then when is any effort enough?  Living in ‘Scare City.’

  4. Clean out the deadwood.
    You know those projects or relationships that clutter up your day without contributing anything of value.

    They have outlived their usefulness or they are a drain on your energy without giving enough back.  Anything that needs to be released opens the space for something new to come in!  It can’t get in while you have other stuff occupying the space.

    This includes updating your address book, your Rolodex, your file cabinet.  Perhaps your clutter is sending a signal that you are full and have no more room for new clients.

Now, that you’ve cleared the space and made some room, take a large sheet of paper and draw a circle in the middle.  This represents your own self-care.  After all, if you are a busy executive or an entrepreneur then you are the commodity you are selling.

If you don’t renew yourself on a regular basis you will burn out and no longer be able to play at the top of your game.

What nourishes and re-juices you?

We each have a different formula but typically quality time alone, time to stretch or go for a walk, time spent in nature, bubble baths, and massages are on most peoples’ lists.

Now, draw another circle around this first circle.  This circle represents your inner circle; those people who are the most important to you.  For most of us it’s your partner or spouse, children, family members and perhaps a ‘bestie’ (best friend).

The next circle, drawn around your inner circle, contains the next most important people in your life.  For many of us, this means your clients or boss. It also includes people in your life that you hold dear; extended family, circle of friends, and your colleagues.

There’s one more circle to draw.  This circle contains everyone else; people in your community, vendors and marketers, even strangers.

Now, take a look at your drawing.  Where do you spend the majority of your time?  Is it in alignment with what you say is most important?  You are not alone if this shocks you as you recognize that you spend most of your time with people who are in your outer circles.

What one or two Inspired Action Steps could you take that would bring your life back into balance, or at least, move in that direction? 

If you feel like sharing them, we’d love to hear!

Aimée Lyndon Adams

About the Author, Aimée Lyndon-Adams

Aimée Lyndon-Adams is both a seasoned corporate executive and a metaphysician practicing spiritual energy healing. She has provided coaching and healing sessions to individuals, couples and groups and has offered an energy management curriculum of training classes for many years. She is an articulate and charismatic speaker and facilitator.

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