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Top 10 Tips to Building a Balanced Business

Top 10 Tips to Building a Balanced Business

I started my business to create more work/life balance.

Honest. Ok. You can stop laughing now…. Anytime!

If you are still laughing at the naiveté of my younger self, then you must be in business for yourself as well.

You know all too well about the many long hours you put in; the constant drain on your time and your bank account; and the passion that comes from working day and night on either a) something that you love or b) something that you are now so far into that you can see no way out.

What if I told you, you could build a business that was balanced from the get-go?

Well, I guess that involves understanding what it means to be “in balance” in your business.

Most people assume the definition of work/life balance involves spending less time at work and more time doing something other than work that you love.

A quick online search brought up these definitions, all rooted in a similar thought:

“Work-life balance is a concept including proper prioritizing between “work” (career and ambition) and “lifestyle” (health, pleasure, leisure, family and spiritual development/meditation). This is related to the idea of “lifestyle choice.” – Wikipedia

“Work-life balance is knowing what feeds your energy.” – Jacki Zehner, CEO of Women Moving Millions

“Work-life balance is about getting more sleep.” – Amy Errett, cofounder of Madison Reed

“My secret to having work-life balance is to schedule in my fun.” – Monif Clarke, CEO of Monif C. Plus Sizes

And…

“Work-life balance means making decisions around where, who and what you’re going to sacrifice, because you can’t do it all,” – Nike Taranto, Cofounder of Plated.com

I also turned to Richard Branson for his tips on achieving a healthy work/life balance. That man seems to be always having a good time, and with his success, I figured he must have some “secrets” up his sleeve.

Here are his:

  1. Rise Early
  2. Limit Screen Time
  3. Write lists
  4. Make time for sports
  5. Make time for loved ones
  6. Embrace something new (or do something new every day)

I like how Branson just ASSUMES you are going to love what you do every day. It didn’t even make his list!

So what I’m hearing from the above is work-life balance involves prioritizing; doing things you enjoy; having fun; and sacrificing some things.

I agree with all those statements – except for the word sacrifice.

I believe in choosing what’s most important and prioritizing what will make you the MOST happy, fulfilled and successful in your business and in your life.

Here is my definition of work/life balance:

“You are “in balance” when you are happy.”

Yikes, now that’s a new can of worms to open, not only am I asking you what it means to be balanced, now I’m also asking you what it means to be happy too?

So, let’s translate that to starting up a business that you love to work in.

What do you need to be happy (and consequently balanced) in your business?

Here are my top 10 tips to being balanced and happy in your business:

  • Start a business doing something you love
  • Hire out the pieces you don’t love doing yourself.
  • Honour your need for rest when you need it
  • Cultivate the important relationships in your life so you don’t replace all of them with work
  • Run your business from somewhere you love being, day in and day out
  • Set up your business so you, as a person, thrive in it
  • Decide up front what it means to be successful in your Balanced Business – and make sure you count more than money in your Success Variables – what does success mean to YOU and to your business?
  • Surround yourself with people you enjoy working with and who share your values in your business.
  • Do something just for you every day.
  • Know what YOU need to be happy.

Yes, when you are running your own business, it all starts with you. The more you know yourself, your limitations, your personal gifts and what fills your tank, the more you can create a life and a business that you love to be in and where you will feel balanced, no matter how much you work and no matter what other people may say.

Because, if you are working most of the time and LOVING it, I would argue that you are balanced.

All this because you get to define it and you get to create your own Personal Business Equation – which defines success on your terms.

What do you need to feel in balance in your business or anywhere for that matter? The more you know that up front, the more you can be assured you will be enjoying the fruits of your labour for many, many years.

About the Author, Susan Elford

Kathryn Wilking

Susan Elford, PR Strategist & Leadership Coach, works with start-ups and seasoned entrepreneurs to help them get real about their strengths and celebrate them so they get more of what they want; clients, exposure and success, while living a life of balance.

Visit Susan at www.elfordcommunications.com for traditional PR support and www.susanelford.com for a look into how she works with her coaching clients.


Ending Self-Sabotage: How to Turn the Enemy Within Into an Ally

Ending Self-Sabotage: How to Turn the Enemy Within Into an Ally
You have a big presentation in the morning and have carefully proofed it for typos. You have selected your outfit. You have downloaded the directions and made sure you have a full tank of gas.

Knowing it’s important to get a good night sleep, you turn in early only to toss and turn all night as you rewrite your presentation in your head all night long …

You made a commitment to a spending plan at the beginning of the year and have been diligently keeping your agreements with yourself for over four months now.

Yesterday, you were idly scrolling through a couple of your favorite shopping sites and fell in love with a gorgeous purse in the season’s hottest color.  You hit BUY without thinking …

You’ve just lost those extra 10 pounds (again) and to celebrate, you order in a large pizza with all the trimmings, a jumbo soda, and know that today’s the day that you will demolish the pint of chunky chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer …

These are just a few of the ways we self-sabotage but there are plenty more. 

Can you recognize any of these other self-sabotaging traits that result in you getting in your own way?

  • Pushing or rushing to achieve results:  This behavior almost always backfires; in your impatience, you make mistakes, overlook key details, or make impulsive decisions that have not been thought through.
  • Being overly dramatic:  When your response to a situation is larger than necessary or expected, it can suck all the air out of the room.  It pushes other people away.
  • Withdrawing due to fear of rejection:  If you are afraid of failure, you might talk yourself out of even trying or getting started.  It can lead to paralyzing indecision and overly-cautious behaviors that are undermining and non-supportive.
  • Self-defeating extravagance:  You might tell yourself that you deserve this treat, or that one, but ultimately, if you are undercutting your own financial security, you do not mean yourself well.  
  • Workaholic tendencies: Working all the time may inflate your sense of importance, but it can also create isolating aloofness and a disconnect from the things in life that truly matter, like family, intimacy, self-care, play, and one’s spiritual growth.
  • Stubbornness: When you are overly attached to your own perceptions versus being open to considering other people’s point-of-view, you can find yourself getting competitive versus collaborative. Stubbornness can mask a compulsion to be right and give rise to destructive rebellion.
  • Demoralizing perfectionism:  Perfectionism shows up in different ways, such as excessive questioning, obsessive worrying, compulsively blaming others or oneself, and behaving like a “superior victim.”

So, where does this self-defeating behavior stem from?

The easy answer is that it arises from your thoughts and your feelings. 

Negative thoughts about oneself generate self-loathing. A feeling of not being good enough and of not belonging.

When you stuff those feelings, you empower them.

When I was a child I remember wondering who was that who was speaking such hateful things in my head?

In my 30’s, I discovered in A Course in Miracles that I choose to think the thoughts I think, and that if I didn’t like the thought I was thinking, I could choose to think another thought.

That was truly empowering!

I also learned that our thoughts have the power to create our reality. Thinking a negative thought was an attack thought on myself.  That really got my attention!

I wondered why I would hate myself so much by thinking that bad things were going to happen to me, that nobody loved me, and so on.

By thinking these negative thoughts over and over, I was calling them into my reality.

Growing up in England, I learned we didn’t express our feelings (it just wasn’t done!) and we acted as if nothing was wrong, whether we had been hurt to the core or were feeling traumatized.

As an empath, I could feel the pain and frustration of my mother and could see she had nowhere to go with it.  She died of cancer in her early 50’s and I was in my mid-30’s when I realized I was on the same path.

With this realization, I knew that getting in touch with my feelings and learning to release them safely, harm to none, would not only save my life but support me in showing up authentically in my life.

Through steadily releasing my feelings over time, I let go of my childhood defense patterns of perfectionism, having no needs, and rushing through my discomfort.

Now, that I choose to think thoughts that support me, that mean me well, and no longer entertain or dwell on negative thoughts that terrorize me, undermine me, and now that I choose to release negative feelings quickly, in privacy, without holding on to them, and with harm to none, I see my body and mind as my greatest allies and partners in life.

My willingness to take the time to go step-by-step in building my business, and to allow the passage of time to reveal the right path, instead of being impulsive and impatient has ultimately supported business growth that is connected to my values.

No longer rushing to the finish line has resulted in my cultivating flexibility, tempering my arrogance and releasing stubbornness.  Calming my mental anxiety through meditation and choosing the thoughts I think, gives me the courage to be myself, to be aware of my needs and ultimately to trust myself.

Does it take time and focus?

Life is an awareness game; it is lived in the present moment.  Every time you become aware you are thinking a negative thought, whether it is about you or a client or someone else, catch it and stop it.

Think another thought, a thought that is positive and supportive.  You free yourself from self-sabotage, one thought at a time.

Love and blessings,
Aimée

Aimée Lyndon Adams

About the Author, Aimée Lyndon-Adams

Aimée Lyndon-Adams is both a seasoned corporate executive and a metaphysician practicing spiritual energy healing. She has provided coaching and healing sessions to individuals, couples and groups and has offered an energy management curriculum of training classes for many years. She is an articulate and charismatic speaker and facilitator.

Visit www.WhatTrulyMatters.com to claim instant access to your free gift for your juiciest life EVER!

Law Of Attraction: How To Engineer Your Brain To Succeed In Business

When it comes to building a prosperous business, your brain is the greatest tool you have.

It’s not an esoteric concept… but it does require discipline and laser-like focus.

Business Advisor and Mentor Dana Smithers explains in this quick interview how you can use psychology to position your mindset for success.

 

The vast majority of entrepreneurs fail to succeed in business because of their inability to engineer a solution-oriented mindset. They get boggled down in day-to-day conflict and pay the price when the perceived drama starts to drive them insane.

The end result: a miserable, overly sensitive brain that inevitably impedes progress.

If this sounds familiar, you’re in luck, because you’re about to rid yourself of this bad habit once and for all.

How can the Law of Attraction deliver the goods?

When it comes to business, the Law of Attraction is as simple a concept as it gets:

You attract success by removing your ego from the equation and by focusing your positive energy on whatever goal you set for yourself.

Oftentimes, this means you might have to ditch those clients who consistently try to nickel and dime you, for example.

For this to work, you have to make a commitment, right now, to refuse to be a slave to your biochemistry. Let it be a new fact of life.

You can master this in a short afternoon if you accept that some things will never be under your control. The one thing you can retain control of is your own attitude towards challenge and conflict.

So go forth and conquer – it’s time to cement your status as an entrepreneur who gets things done.

If you have any questions about using psychology to improve your business practices, feel free to leave a message in the comment section below and I’d be happy to answer. Also, if you’re looking to boost your digital marketing to the next level, sign up for my free newsletter.

Until next time,
Susan Friesen

P.S. New to Social Media and online marketing or find it overwhelming and confusing? Check out Social Blast: eMarketing for Entrepreneurs. It’s a monthly group coaching program for those just starting out or wanting more advanced strategies to help with their online marketing and social media efforts.
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About the Author, Susan Friesen

10 Critical Questions You Must Ask to Get Maximum ResultsSusan Friesen is the founder of eVision Media, a boutique web development and Digital Marketing firm of over 15 years that specializes in designing, building and marketing professional, unique websites for entrepreneurs, businesses and organizations.

Visit www.ultimatewebsiteguide.ca and grab your FREE "Ultimate Guide to Improving Your Website's Profitability - 10 Critical Questions You Must Ask to Get Maximum Results".

Why Having FOCUS Is Key To Manifesting What You Want

Why Having FOCUS Is Key To Manifesting What You Want

The Law of Attraction is all about vibrations and its job description is to ‘match vibrations’ and those are either positive or negative.

When you focus on what you want by putting out a positive vibe, the Law of Attraction is happy to bring you what you need to do, know or have.

If you find yourself grumbling about this and that in your life, how much you have to do and how you know you’ll never get it all done – well, the Law of Attraction just gives you more of that madness too!

Multitasking Is Not The Way To Start Your Day

Most entrepreneurs find themselves having to play a lot of different roles in their business and wear many different hats. It’s like you are a juggler with business tasks and personal tasks trying to keep them all going at the same time.

If you happen to be a mom-preneur or dad-preneur then you have the added responsibility of taking care of children too!

You might be someone who starts your day with an impressive ‘To Do List’ or, you might just ‘wing’ it and see how the day unfolds. Either way you most likely find yourself multitasking and not really accomplishing all that you wanted to.

The best way to start your day from a Law of Attraction perspective is to:

  1. Set your intention – ask yourself how you want to see your day unfolding – put the focus only on business goals (your personal goals can be handled in a different way on a different day)
  2. Create 3 business goals that you want to accomplish or get started on – prioritize what needs to get done by the urgency of the task (usually time sensitive)
  3. Remove each achieved goal and continue to create another list with just 3 goals – make them manageable, realistic goals that you know you will feel better once they are accomplished
  4. Celebrate your success – doesn’t matter how you celebrate just do it and if you can put in some movement with your celebration (happy dances are good) to anchor this great feeling in your body, all the better
  5. Do ‘segment intentions’ – if you find yourself pulled away from something you had prioritized because something just came to you that is time sensitive then, set another intention

Focus On What You Want and Not On What You Do Not Want

You may have never thought of this but everything you decide you ‘want’ you arrived at that decision by noticing what you ‘do not want’. In Law of Attraction lingo we call this getting to CLARITY from CONTRAST.

When you go into a new restaurant you finally decide what you do want by looking at everything you don’t want. You use this technique throughout your personal and professional lives whether you are aware of it or not.

If you are working on several different projects, think about narrowing those down and focus on  only 1 or 2 and until you have achieved what you wanted to achieve.

When you are unfocused and have too many goals or projects on the go then you are being ‘wishy washy’ and the Law of Attraction doesn’t know what you really want so it too, will dilute what you manifest.

Take 1 project and create a list of everything you ‘Don’t Want aka Contrast’ and then create another list of everything you ‘Do Want aka Clarity’.

Delete everything you don’t want and focus only on the new list which gives you the clarity of what you do want!

About the Author, Dana J. Smithers

dana-smithers-ewb

Dana J. Smithers is an international Empowerment Mentor. Her mission is to educate, inspire and empower women entrepreneurs. She knows what starting up a small business takes and how to get it to the next level. At 50 she left a high-paying corporate job and became a successful 6 figure entrepreneur.

She believes the journey to living a fulfilled life is found through your mind-body-spirit connection. As a Certified Law of Attraction Trainer she teaches her clients how to use LOA tools to build a business by working on their 'mind'. As a Certified Sacred Gifts Guide she helps women discover their sacred gifts so they feel more connected to 'spirit' and are aligned to their purpose. Being an Emotion Code practitioner allows Dana to release trapped emotions lodged in the 'body'. She invites you to sign up for her enewsletter for tips, insights and inspiration and her FREE ebook 'The POWER of your WORDS' at Empowered Women in Business. She looks forward to making a real connection with you on www.FB.com/coachdanasmithers. Her NEW Law of Attraction Gratitude Journal is available on www.amazon.com.

The Power of Unplugging and Prioritizing Time for Rest

The Power of Unplugging and getting rest

How Busy Entrepreneurs Can Prioritize Time for Rest

The problem with our harried, living on adrenaline, multitasking overloaded culture is that running without stopping strips our lives from meaning.

I’m talking about 50-60-hour workweeks, working late into the night and over weekends, being a slave to your to-do list, and eating lunch at your desk or “car dining.”…

Do you feel like you are running like crazy but never getting anywhere (like the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland)?

And yet, paradoxically, if you unplug regularly you actually get more done!  That’s because regular rest renews your energy and motivation; it reconnects you to your joy, to your communities, and heals your soul.

Sadly, in the relentlessness busyness of modern life, we have a culture that promotes doing anything is better than doing nothing!

Overriding our natural rhythms enables us to get more done as does the lure of multitasking that teaches us how to never fully engage or fully disengage from anything!  It’s the reason why so many of us experience sleep disorders – we’ve lost the art of being delightfully inactive!

Do you prioritize time for rest?

I’m not talking about sacking out in front of the television; television is hardly restful these days!  No; TV is designed to stimulate you; to rile you up or to make you feel badly about yourself so that you will want to buy or consume something that will make you feel better!

Taking a retreat on a regular basis from the demands of your life, whether it’s a 2-hour retreat or an afternoon retreat, will require some planning and education of other key players in your life.

Some years ago, when I started taking Sunday as my retreat day, I carefully explained my lack of availability for invitations, phone calls and emails on that day of the week.

It didn’t go well…  I was greeted with shock and horror that I wouldn’t be available 24/7.  Invitations came with the request: “Perhaps you could make an exception for this?”  Emails arrived with a header, “I know you don’t work on Sundays but perhaps you could find time for me?”

I ended up disconnecting the phone and unplugging the computer.

What rejuvenates you?

Planning time for rest is essential, and scheduling those times into your calendar is a must – but remembering what juices you, what fills you and what recharges your batteries is important too – otherwise, you may default to filling the space with working.

Spending time in nature is especially renewing, as is napping, bathing, dancing, cooking, creating, walking or running.

I used to start each retreat day with the question, “What do you need?”  I’d ask it again periodically throughout the day.

Sometimes, I needed sleep more than anything.  Sometimes, I needed to simply be in the peace and quiet, the stillness.  Other times, I felt more creative and would start an art project, or experienced the joy of reading a book cover to cover.

Do you need to be alone? 

It’s your choice.  If you can disconnect around other people for a period of time, then it’s not necessary to be alone.  Provided they understand the new rules.

You might like to light a candle as a reminder that you are resting for this period of time.  Perhaps later, you would enjoy coming together in a family meal.  Or, to enjoy your partner’s undivided attention as you share your insights.

What are the costs of a life without rest?

Who suffers the most?  The children, who can never get your attention? “Mom!  Mom!”  “I’m on the phone!”  “You’re always on the phone…”

Is it your spouse?  Or, is it your friends and community?

Or, is it your clients; yes, you show up for them, but how are you really showing up? Or, is it you?  Demanding too much out of a day and pushing your body to its limits is like waging war on your soul.

If we only stop when all the work is done, we will never stop. 

The pace of technology allows us to be seduced by artificial urgency that prevents us from listening to our own deepest truth. When we don’t take the time to really rest, we lose our way.

We “don’t have time” to listen to our inner wisdom.

We “forget” who and what is most important in a well-lived life.

When we are exhausted, we can be surrounded by people all day long and still feel disconnected and lonely.  The frenzy of activity diminishes our capacity for inner peace.

If you are New Year Resolution averse, perhaps you simply need to reset your intentions and intend that this year you will take the time to savor life.

Love and blessings,
Aimée

Aimée Lyndon Adams

About the Author, Aimée Lyndon-Adams

Aimée Lyndon-Adams is both a seasoned corporate executive and a metaphysician practicing spiritual energy healing. She has provided coaching and healing sessions to individuals, couples and groups and has offered an energy management curriculum of training classes for many years. She is an articulate and charismatic speaker and facilitator.

Visit www.WhatTrulyMatters.com to claim instant access to your free gift for your juiciest life EVER!

6 Keys to Overcoming the Fear to be GREAT for a Fulfilled Business Life

6 Keys to Overcoming the Fear to be GREAT for a Fulfilled Business Life

Are you an entrepreneur or business owner and don’t feel fulfilled?

I find the key to success lies within the fear to be great, which prevents many from moving forward into that greatness and feel better fulfilled.

Here’s 6 keys that will help you overcome this deep-seeded fear and gain a business life that has you feeling truly enriched and fulfilled.

  1. Resolutions

    2017 is here, the beginning of yet another New Year, and the season for new resolutions and intentions has unfolded. But how will these really affect the quality of your business life in 2017?
     
    It does not matter if millions are setting new intentions, numbers alone, do not prove them to be necessarily effective.
     
    Whatever the resolutions, each of us know deep down that we are still bringing the same internal version of ourselves into the New Year. Resolutions therefore simply give the mind the idea that it is on a refreshed trajectory, when in fact nothing has changed.

  2. The Voice Inside Your Head

    If the voice inside your head is saying ” I am not enough”, no matter how much will power is deployed to push harder, and work harder, in the end nothing but exhaustion will be felt in such a scenario.
     
    If the voice inside your head is saying, “I can’t speak up because I am afraid to be rejected” it will be impossible for the entrepreneur to step outside their current comfort zone and explore new ways of business.
     
    We have to do much more than becoming aware that our voice is not necessarily self-preserving. We have to dig deep to tackle this anguish driving aspect of ourselves.
     
    And the crazy thing is that most of the time, we are not even aware of the real self sabotaging conclusions that we carry because they are deeply hidden in our unconscious, and so they are not even surfacing at the level of the mind.
     
    Despite this lack of awareness, they totally control the destiny of our business life. Take for example an unknown belief : “I cannot have my freedom”, no matter how hard such a person tries to expand their business life, this hidden belief will result in a business experience that will suppress, but never bring abundance and total freedom.

  3. False Reinvention

    So, for many of us, if we don’t want business as usual, we might consider a little bit of reinventing to adapt our ways. Most of this reinvention will happen using the mind, through affirmations, positivity, gratitude journals and ideas that the law of attraction will assist us, if we concentrate on visualizations for a better future.
     
    We are encouraged to conjure up feelings, as if it has already happened. We are encouraged to create vision boards that we can focus on, so that our attention will bring growth in the areas that we predefine.
     
    In modern day times, we tell our critical voice to “shut up” and suggest “we are awesome” instead. This of course gives us the impression we are correcting this inner state, but the hilarious part is that no one asks the deeper question – “Which voice did we use to tell the negative voice to shut up?”
     
    The answer is shocking. It is, in fact, the same voice!!!! It is like a dog chasing its own tail- nothing has changed, but somehow we have the new impression that things have improved for us. The negative voice is told to shut up by the positive voice. Then the negative one speaks even stronger, and so the positive one has to work even harder! Round and round we go…
     
    We work extremely hard, to maybe get a few successes but there is a but!

  4. False Successes

    Don’t get me wrong, when someone has gone through the laborious task to tell their inner voice to shut up, they may feel a burst of energy to act on something that they might not have tried earlier, and of course this is good news! Some fear has been overcome, and new doors could open.
     
    Many of the role models we see around us, prove that this theory helped them to be the business success stories that they are today. Oprah Winfrey swears by her gratitude journal, and Louise Hay proclaims affirmations will do the trick.
     
    BUT the fear that we are not enough, hasn’t gone away, it is still lurking, and it will have the last say, and come to sabotage at its earliest opportunity. Mathematics says it has to. The energy is still there. Energy can only change form, but it can never disappear.
     
    If energy cannot disappear, of course internal anxiety will remain too.
     
    This is why people stay on the search for more…….deep down they know that there is a lurking fear that they themselves carry, even though they might not want to share that with the public that revere them, they know they have not fooled themselves.
     
    The sincere ones employ new tools such as meditation to go deeper. The insincere ones continue to live a lie.

  5. The Real “TOOLS” for Permanent Change

    So the real task is not to tell the inner voice to shut up, but to transform the inner voice, so that it no longer says, “I am not enough”. And for that to happen, there has to be a real knowing that you are in fact, absolutely enough. This takes courage to embody and the fear to be brilliant has to be overcome to facilitate such a presence.
     
    Through practices such as meditation and advanced tools that transform unconsciousness, new insights can be gained. A knowing reveals itself and with that the understanding comes that these encounters could never be experienced through the mind, because the mind was creating all the problems in the first place.
     
    The knowing that ” I am awesome” comes from a place within where we recognize the purity of who we are….and that resides deep within, in our being. When we meet our true face, we have that knowing.
     
    Then we recognize that our core personality has to be transformed to meet the purity of our being. When our core personality is no longer lashing out, no longer angry with others, no longer jealous, bitter, resentful, insincere, greedy, manipulative etc., it begins to match the quality of our inner being.
     
    We need advanced ways to permanently eliminate the fears and the root causes of the above darker side qualities that surface in each of us. This is the only route available to truly discover that we are enough. There is no other short cut. We might decide that releasing a few trapped emotions is helping but nothing awakens our real nature unless consciousness is heightened. This is the real work.

  6. The Truth of “I Am Great” / “I Am Awesome”

    If we cannot say that all our actions are loving and pure, why would we lie to ourselves and say, “We are awesome”!!!?
     
    Through UNDERSTANDING why our inner voice is actually saying “I am not enough” and clearing up the root causes and mis-beliefs, we can finally hold our head up and say,
     
    “I know who I am,
    I know where I come from,
    I know what I am here to do,
    I know I am enough unto myself and a light unto myself”

     
    There is a step in claiming and recognizing the revelation of what you know. What you know could prove to be too much for those around you. It may blind too many people, and thus this is where the fear comes in.
     
    To reveal your brilliance and embody your magnificence, in total confidence is so alien in our world at large, that it might feel better to hide the light and not shine it too brightly.
     
    When we have overcome this fear, the largest of them all, we can finally say:
     
    “I am here to be brilliant”, “I am here to live in total fulfillment” and “I am here to be awesome, showing others how to be too”.
     

    The voice inside your head will now be in total silence.

This is awesome and this is where we get to have a business life in which we are truly enriched and fulfilled.

About the Author, Kindi Gill ACA

Kindi Gill

Are you extremely responsible but tired and wish someone could now nurture YOUR needs? Is your family life in need of a boost and ready to be revitalized into unity? Is there room for improvement in your relationships at home so that your work-life is better supported? If you are struggling with adversity, contact Kindi Gill for a complimentary 30 minute consultation.

Kindi is a CEO, Revitalization Consultant, Inward Leadership Mentor and Keynote Speaker. She has 30 plus years of experience in leadership, is trained as a Chartered Accountant and is a member of the Canadian Association of Professional Speakers. Kindi is also one of 11 people trained as a facilitator of the Self Healing Dalian Method, an evolutionary tool that bypasses the mind, created by a modern day mystic, Mada Eliza Dalian who revolutionized Kindi's own life back into wholeness.

Call her at 778-558-5110 for help in getting your life and vibration back on track to achieve its natural potential, so that your gifts can shine, and the rain can eventually stop.


5 Tips to Thrive the Holiday Season both Personally and Professionally

5 Tips to Thrive the Holiday Season both Personally and Professionally

As much as there is the call for celebration and frivolity, there is arguably more stress and discontent during the holidays.

If you’re lucky, you may be able to survive the pressures of family gatherings and giving while trying to end the year with your business in the black.

But it would be so much better if we could all thrive and thoroughly enjoy the season as it was meant to be and sail into the new year.

I was given the time and space to reflect on this conundrum (more on that later), and I came up with these tips to make the best of this holiday time.

  1. Make self-care a priority. This is the number one rule in my book. And the stress of the holidays is a sure test of how well you are taking care of yourself.
     
    Make sure you get plenty of rest and eat as healthily as possible (in between the occasional holiday treats). If you’re like me, limit alcohol and sugar to reduce physical stress on your body. Give yourself a spa day to have a truly, luxurious time to relax and recharge.
     
    My new practice is around wellness. So, it seems rather poetic to have been knocked to my knees with a painful illness – shingles.
     
    Then I remembered from my mentors that illness is the universe trying to tell you something. For me it is to take a step out of the crazy world, stay present, and use the space to listen.
     
    So if you find yourself sick, give yourself the time and space to heal and get curious to what message it brings.
     
    Bottom line for your business: When you can stay healthy and relaxed during the holidays, your perspective on your business is clear and open. And the tricks you use to de-stress now can be used any time you’re feeling stressed at work.
  2. Be flexible and forgiving. This is definitely not a time for perfection or high expectations for everyone and everything to work out. Things happen (see #1 above).
     
    Understand that every one of us is trying to do our best to make the best of the situation. With so much change and uncertainty in the air, it’s important that we are open to things happening differently. Because the one thing that is for sure is change itself.
     
    Bottom line for your business: The mix of holidays and year-end business affairs can create a challenging time – if you let it. It’s important that you honor and support your staff and clients in finding that balance.
     
    Things might need to be re-negotiated in order to get a better outcome. In addition, I find the week between Christmas and New Year’s as a great space to get my business affairs in order, so that I feel more in control and can plan ahead.
  3. Be open to changing rituals that work for you. Ever since my parents past, I have been experimenting on different ways to celebrate the holidays. Last year, I politely declined family invites and took my dog to the coast for Christmas.
     
    Changing rituals may also include rethinking the art of giving. It seems lately that the consumer-driven way of shopping for a gift has overtaken the intention of giving.
     
    For years, I have been giving home-made, home-grown gifts of honey, garlic, horseradish and biscotti because these are gifts from my heart and home, which is far more satisfying – for both parties.
     
    Bottom-line for your business: If you sense there is a system or process not working for you (which means for your clients as well) in your business, perhaps it’s time to bring it forward and work with your staff or clients on coming up with a better plan for all.
  4. Celebrate the winter solstice. You know that most (if not all) the holidays at this time of year originated from the celebration of the light at solstice.
     
    The best way to honor the seasonal shift from the dark to the light is to go outside and observe the beauty of nature – the snow (or rain), the moon, the stars, the trees, the birds.
     
    At night, light a fire or candle or hang star lanterns in your window. Of course, song and dance are completely appropriate!!
     
    This beautiful interlude can set a celebratory mood and intention for the coming gatherings and celebrations.
     
    Bottom-line for your business: This time of reflection and looking forward to the light returning is a perfect space to set intentions for the success of your business in the new year. Make sure you ask yourself what would bring more light to your work so that your business brilliantly shines in the next 12 months.
  5. Plan your next vacation. Yes, it’s important to ponder on plans for the new year, especially around your business. But don’t forget to plan your trips and vacation time.
     
    This is the ultimate step in self-care and wellness, and it is something to look forward to in the coming months. See if you can plan for a quarterly break, even if it is a long weekend.
     
    Bottom-line for your business: Consider going on a personal retreat in January where you can continue the work from the solstice and develop an annual business plan with target dates and measurements of success.

So, which tips are you going to try out this year? Do you have any that you could share?

Be well and see you next year.

About the Author, Elizabeth Walker

Elizabeth Walker

Elizabeth Walker is known as a "natural" in reinventing herself. After nearly 25 years as a consulting urban forester, and more recently a farmer and blogger on sustainability and permaculture, she is exploring ways to help others become the best of themselves with her unique Alignment Magic system.

She looks forward to identifying and engaging her ideal clients through nature-based coaching and mentoring and help them achieve abundant and sustained health, wealth and happiness in their lives. For more information, visit her website: earthbodywellness.net


Why Paying it Forward Reaps Many Rewards on Social Media

Why Paying it Forward Reaps Many Rewards on Social Media

6 Ways You Can Pay it Forward on Social Media

How would you like to be the reason someone smiles today?

Doesn’t it feel wonderful and causes you to smile when you’re acknowledged for an accomplishment? When someone is truly kind to you without any intention of reciprocation?

I recently discovered just how wonderful that feeling is.

When eVision Media won an Abbotsford Chamber of Commerce Business Excellence award at the end of November, my Facebook feed was inundated with hundreds of likes, congratulations and well wishes. It truly was overwhelming to be the receiver of such incredible heart-felt wishes!

Being on the receiving end of such attention was not only flattering but also had me deeply touched that so many people thought kindly of my team and I.

Being on the receiving end of kindness is deeply touching. Pay it Forward.Click To Tweet

So much so that it had me ponder my own actions, or inactions as the case may be, on social media.

How many times did I scroll past someone sharing their good news… too busy to pause long enough to congratulate them?

How many times did I simply hit the “like” button and move on after someone posted a huge victory of their own?

Too many times.

So many that I made a decision to change that and this article urges you to think about your own actions on Social Media too.

Now I make a conscious effort to pause long enough in my busy day to spread a simple message of kindness on my social media channels. Whether it’s a quick “Congratulations!” or a response to a question I can help with, I know my acts of kindness are paying it forward for all the kind acts I’ve received over the years.

Will you join me?

Here’s 6 Ways You Can Pay it Forward on Social Media

  1. When you see someone sharing good news, don’t just hit the “Like” button, go that extra mile and leave a comment about how happy you are for them. It’s ok that you don’t know this person personally, it’s social media where your online connection is all that’s needed to pay a little kindness forward.
     
    This simple gesture can make a big difference in the other person’s life. You have no idea what they are going through and your message of kindness could make their day.
  2. When someone retweets or shares your content to their followers, send them a message of thanks.
     
    Your acknowledgement will go a long way in their eyes, and they will remember how kind you were to them and will encourage them to continue their acts of sharing kindness.
  3. Retweet and share great content of others and be sure to give them credit for posting such great stuff.
     
    This kind of acknowledgement could be all that’s needed to give them the confidence they need to keep creating good stuff.
  4. Participate in contests that you really wish to be a part of. A lot of thought and planning goes into setting up a contest so show your appreciation for the opportunity to win something and submit your entry.
     
    Imagine if you were holding a contest and how much excitement you would feel when you see so many people participating. Share that gift of excitement to others.
  5. Tell someone you appreciate them. It doesn’t have to have any strings attached… simply let them know how much you admire them and appreciate being connected with them on Social Media and why.
     
    Wouldn’t it be great to receive such an unprovoked message? You can make someone else feel great too – how cool is that!
  6. When you see someone is struggling or has asked a question you can answer, help.
     
    Sharing your expertise with others is a wonderful way to pay it forward and help someone else out at the same time.

By making a conscious effort in performing these acts of kindness on social media, you will not only help make the world a better place (after all, doesn’t the world need more kindness in it?) but you will also see a positive shift both personally and professionally in your own life.

Paying kindness forward on social media creates positive shifts personally & professionallyClick To Tweet

There are plenty of other ways you can pay it forward and share kindness with others on social media. Help me grow this list by posting in the comments section below your own ideas. And don’t forget to implement them!

To your success,

P.S. If you liked what you read here, you will want to sign up for my newsletter where you’ll get notified every Tuesday of that day’s blog post. Click here to also receive our free website guide: www.UltimateWebsiteGuide.ca

P.P.S. If you found this article helpful, please share it with your Twitter followers:

Here’s 6 Ways You Can Pay it Forward on Social MediaClick To Tweet

About the Author, Susan Friesen

10 Critical Questions You Must Ask to Get Maximum ResultsSusan Friesen is the founder of eVision Media, a boutique web development and Digital Marketing firm of over 15 years that specializes in designing, building and marketing professional, unique websites for entrepreneurs, businesses and organizations.

Visit www.ultimatewebsiteguide.ca and grab your FREE "Ultimate Guide to Improving Your Website's Profitability - 10 Critical Questions You Must Ask to Get Maximum Results".

How to Manage Stress from the Inside Out

How to Manage Stress from the Inside Out

It’s just another normal day, right?

You awaken one morning and discover that someone drank the last of the milk and the cereal you were planning for breakfast has now been switched to a quick piece of toast – and you’re all out of your favorite jelly.

Muttering, you head to your car, but not before your partner reminds you that you agreed to pick up the kids today from soccer practice. She/he must work overtime to make up for the missed ½ day last week when the dog had an emergency and had to go to the vet.

Stressed WomanYou grudgingly agree, knowing that in the process your answer was a little harsher than you intended.

Just as you get into your car, you remember you had planned to leave earlier today to buy gas. As you pull into the gas station, you realize that gas prices have jumped 10¢ a gallon. Frustrated, you fill up and head to work, only to sit in stop and go traffic with about another million drivers headed in the same direction.

You reach for your car radio switch, when suddenly the car in front of you brakes, causing you to come within 1-inch of a rear end collision. Your purse, once on the front seat, is now under the pile of papers that you had taken home to work on. You tell yourself to stay calm, but you’re feeling a little unsteady from the near miss.

You arrive at work and are immediately told to report to your manager. Your best customer has phoned in with a complaint and the deal you thought was a sure thing is in jeopardy. And somehow you get the feeling that your job is at risk, too.

You promise to address the issue immediately, but when you sit down at your computer an alert message appears stating that the system is being checked for a virus and won’t be available for another hour. You head begins to hurt and that nagging pain in your back won’t go away. On your way to get some water so that you can take a pain reliever, you run into your good friend, Elizabeth who is obviously on the verge of tears.

You know something is wrong, but have an intense desire to run the other way. You can’t deal with another catastrophe right this minute.

Does this sound like a variation of more days than you’d like to admit? Whether you realize it or not, you have dealt with stress all morning long, and if you do not do something to re-group, you are at risk for something far worse.

Stress 101

For an easy-to-understand primer on the stress crisis afflicting the modern man, modern woman, and yes, even the modern child, let’s begin with a brief lesson called Stress 101.

Everyone has a level of energy that is “normal” for them. The energy level of healthy people can range from rather low to rather high. If it is too low, a medical condition such as low blood pressure, low thyroid, or depression may be culprit.

If your energy level is excessively high, you could be experiencing hyper-activity or some other physical or behavioral disorder. But let’s agree that for most of us, we move through life with a rather stable energy level.

Here’s how it is intended to work

  1. When an event happens that causes you to expend more energy you experience stress.
  2. A certain level of stress is good for you. This is called eustress or productive tension. At this stage, hormones are released into the body to give you an energy boost.
  3. These hormones enable your “fight” or “flight” reaction.
  4. After you have expended the energy, you need to move below your normal stress level so that your nervous system can return to normal and the “energy” hormones can dissipate and not be stored in the body. Your body is then able to return to a normal energy level and ready for the next stressor in life.

But, here’s what happens in the real world:

  1. An event occurs that causes your energy level to go up.
  2. Your hormones kick in and you respond to the stressor (eustress or productive tension).
  3. After the response, your body wants to go to a calming place. However, before you can ever get to the place of normal energy, you probably experience another stressor.
  4. Your body responds by another release of energy (more hormones kick in)
  5. You react to that event.
  6. And again, there is a desire to return to a lower level of energy.
  7. And before that happens, you have another stressor.
  8. Before you know it, you are operating above the productive tension line and operating at a distress level

As you can see, your energy level (and hormonal level) remains escalated. And although your energy level will slow down (often resulting in exhaustion), your hormonal production continues. This results in distress and disease.

Acute and Chronic Stress
Two of the most common types of stress are acute (sudden) or chronic (on-going).

 Acute stress is a reaction to an immediate, unexpected stressor, like:

  • Seeing a child run into a busy street
  • Hearing a loud noise behind you (or even in front of you)
  • A phone call telling you of an emergency
  • Being unexpectedly called on to speak
  • Your child throwing a temper tantrum in front of others
  • A very verbal, highly irritated customer
  • Being pulled out of the airport security line for extensive screening
  • Learning that you have no credit left on your credit card
  • A new romantic interest walking into a party unexpected
  • Winning the lottery
  • Waiting for the final free throw of a basketball game when the score is tied

During acute stress, the unexpected event occurs, you have the appropriate hormonal response, you respond at a higher energy level, and then when the crisis is over, you seek out the first chance you can to relax.

The body can deal with acute stress in small doses. Prolonged bouts of acute stress are very taxing and wearing on the body, rational thinking often becomes distorted thinking, and the rate of accidents and mistakes increases.

Chronic Stress is prolonged stress. There seems to be no light at the end of the tunnel. You don’t feel any hope for the future and feel that you have no power over the situation.  And feeling powerless to impact the situation resonates deeply. Some situations that produce chronic stress are:

  • Being homeless
  • No perceived power in relationships or job
  • Dysfunctional families
  • Trapped in a despised job or career

For most people, though, chronic stress is more often a product of:

  • Too much to do, too many commitments
  • Working in a job we don’t like
  • Working longer hours on the job with little or no reward
  • Too little sleep
  • Disorganization in our living and work environments
  • Financial problems without a solution in sight
  • Fear of losing a job
  • Prolonged illness (yours or a family member’s)

Stress Management Techniques

This background information is intended to raise your awareness about the costly effects of stress. Costs to your health, your relationships, and your personal well-being. It is more important now than ever that individuals do whatever it takes to carve out time to engage in stress reducing activities.

The best way to manage stress is to make time every single day to relax, refresh and re-energize. Although you might join a class to help you learn some relaxation techniques, chances are that making it to class will add even more stress.

The following techniques will help reduce stress, help your body (and mind) find calm and restore your energy. When practiced on a regular basis, you give your body a rest as your hormonal levels return to normal. You, in turn, will be better equipped for managing the

day-to- day stressors that are bound to come your way.

Breathing Technique: The great thing about this exercise is that it can be practiced anywhere, anytime. In fact, some clients tell us that this technique is one they practice prior to starting their day and/or as a bedtime ritual.

It is also beneficial for the transitional times – before going into your home after a day of work, before entering a meeting that may be controversial, before heading out to the golf course or meeting friends for dinner.

Breathing deeply can require conscious attention since we tend to breathe shallowly most of the time. Here is a simple way to practice.

Pretend that your breath is a long ribbon. Give it a color. Imagine that you have a reel in your belly and with each inhale through your nose; you are winding your breath (ribbon) around the reel. Take in the breath slowly and consciously, as your belly expands. When you have inhaled as much breath as possible, let it sit for just a second (Eastern practitioners call this ‘packing chi” or energy). Slowly release the breath, concentrating on the slow rhythmic release of the ribbon. Practice this kind of breathing for about 5-7 minutes. Caution, you may find yourself slightly dizzy when you first try this exercise, especially if you have a tendency for shallow breathing or holding your breath during stress. This process helps the body relax, the buildup of stress-induced hormones to dissipate, and your energy to restore.

Mindfulness: If you have ever arrived somewhere and not remembered the trip or after an event, you can’t even remember who was there (or what they were wearing, or what they talked about), you will benefit from practicing mindfulness.

Mindfulness is a technique where give full attention to your feelings, thoughts, and sensations. You literally live in the moment and experience the sensations of the moment. This exercise takes very little time, but the benefits are tremendous.

To practice mindfulness, you must be willing not to let other things distract you. If your cell phone rings, you simply acknowledge to yourself that your cell phone is ringing, but don’t let your mind wonder who’s calling and for what. During this exercise, look around. Notice the variations of color in the room. Listen intently for any sounds. Notice the feel of the air on your body. Be still, as if you are becoming a part of your surroundings. Be aware of your breathing. Hear the clock tick or the birds chirp. Notice how light reflects, distorts, or illuminates. See what you haven’t seen before. Appreciate your surroundings and feel peace.

Studies have shown that people who practice mindfulness have less pain and more quickly recover from injuries and illness than people who do not.

Self-Talk:  Self talk is exactly what the term implies. It is the thousands of messages that we tell ourselves every day. Self-talk is about judgment. Judging ourselves and judging others.

Make a commitment to pay attention to your self-talk. Be conscious of what words you use to describe yourself and the situation you are in. Shift your negative thinking to positive thinking. When you hear yourself say, “I should be working on that report,” say instead, “I’m glad that I have the opportunity to spend time with my family right now.” Instead of, “a good daughter would phone her mother every day,” say “I’m glad I’m able to check in on my mother and respond when she really needs me.” When we start shifting our perspective to a more positive one, we become energetic instead of stressed or depleted.

Control vs. No Control: Let’s face it, you have control over two things: Your own thoughts and your own behavior. Understanding where you clearly have control can be strengthening. Here’s an example:

You are in the office and someone approaches you with a bit of gossip about a co-worker, Michelle. The gossip includes some rather harsh remarks about something you are passionate about. Michelle has decided that she will not support the annual United Way drive because her time and money are devoted to juvenile diabetes. You might become defensive, antagonistic toward her, and begin forming alliances with others who share your conviction. The truth of the matter is that you have no control over what Michelle values. What you can do is enthusiastically support your cause and have respect for Michelle and her cause.

Another example of control awareness might go something like this. You arrive home from work and realize that the sanitation department did not pick up your overflowing trash container that morning as planned. You can either: 1) fuss and fume, call the city, leave a scathing message, and threaten to leave your trash curbside until someone picks it up. Or 2) you can recognize that the trash was overlooked, call and ask what your next steps should be. Should you leave the trash curbside, or should you roll the container back into your garage? You have no control over the fact that the trash was not collected. What you can control is your response.

The question to ask yourself is this? Do I have any control over this situation? If I do, what are the rational steps I can take to resolve it? If not, am I willing to let it go? This practice in and of itself will reduce most people’s stress level by half.

Lifestyle Changes: Let’s be honest. Much of the stress we experience is a result of choices we make and lifestyles that we lead. The following ideas are beneficial to all people who want to reduce the amount of stress in their life and live healthier:

  1. Organize your living and work space – by doing this, you spend less time searching for things. An organized space is more calming than clutter.
  2. Organize your time. You only have so much time. By organizing your time, you will be able to spend it on things that are of greatest importance to you.
  3. Cultivate a supportive social circle. Research tells us that surrounding ourselves with people who support us and whom we support leads to healthier – and even longer lives.
  4. Take care of your body. Day-to-day stress and day-to-day living take a toll on your body. By engaging in regular exercise, your body is stronger, your stress is lessened and your health increases.
  5. Renew your spirit. The old saying that “attitude is everything” has validity. Reading, vacation, creative activities, journaling, meditating, praying, and experiencing a higher source of power are all ways to renew your spirit.

These techniques are lifestyle changes that create a more calming environment. Instead of depleting you of energy, these choices restore your energy.

Closing Thoughts

Cari Harness once said, “Give your stress wings and let it fly away.” Let’s face it – that is easier said than done. Maybe a more realistic approach is to look at the situations in your life that you can control and can’t control. Give wings to the ones you can’t control and let them go. Just.let.them.go!

What you can control is your long-term response to the stressful events. You also control whether you practice calming techniques. And there are plenty of lifestyle choices that you control.

Perhaps you could start right now by breathing slowly, being mindful of the things around you, creating positive self-talk and watch your stress fly away.

About the Author, Katherine Hartvickson

Kathryn Wilking

Katherine Hartvickson is the founder and president of Hartvickson & Associates, Inc. dba Quantum Ascendance. She is an experienced business consultant and success coach. Since leaving the corporate world in 2009, her clients include business owners and other seriously committed professionals and entrepreneurs who want to gain the confidence and skills to break through the barriers of success and achieve their ideal life.

What separates her service from others is her experience in leading large teams and developing top performers in corporate environments and because of this, clients achieve individual & financial rewards and the recognition they earned without sacrificing their personal life. If you are interested in knowing more, she can be reached at www.QuantumAscendance.com.


Why Criticism Feels So Scary and How to Handle it

Why Criticism Feels So Scary and How to Handle it

We usually get our first experience of criticism from our parents. 

With few exceptions, harried parents are not present or conscious enough to separate out, our behavior from who we are.

Telling children that they are bad or wicked for misbehaving sets up a defense pattern against criticism that can undermine us in both our personal and professional life.

Other comments, such as, “You’ll be the death of me!” or, “What is wrong with you?” are equally lethal.

As a result, most of us develop low self-worth or insecurity early in life.

Noticing that we seem to be unable to get our parents’ undivided attention, a steady source of unconditional love, or that our parents are at odds with each other, worried about money or distracted with their own issues, causes us to worry that there really is something wrong with us.

Without the verbal skills of inquiry, we tend to stuff this fear and look for what does get attention and/or love.  We innately know that we need attention in order to survive.

On some levels, it doesn’t matter if the attention is negative or positive – attention is attention, and it feeds us the energy.

As a child, I saw that not being a bother, having no needs, being perfect, and smiling all the time did the trick.  This then became my “act.”  Does the act work to get the love and/or attention you need to survive?

You bet it does!

But, the problem is that the love and/or attention goes to the act and not to the part of you that has low self-worth or is insecure.

Eventually, you become resentful of the act; after all, you feel that you have to keep it going, can’t rest on your laurels, and it becomes a burden.

The act is also a defense against intimacy.  If someone gets too close to you, you have to push them away in case they were to penetrate your act and discover “the real truth about you.”

Also, if someone criticizes either an aspect of your act or calls it into question, it can trigger your unhealed survival issues.

Unprocessed fear is usually inappropriate in its intensity to the nature of the situation at hand.  So, you can find yourself lashing out, at complete strangers or even at those you love.

Another response is to shut down, slamming the door on any possibility of re-connection – at least in that moment and for as long as it takes to come around (sometimes never).

Any unhealed childhood issues are bound to arise in the workplace as well as in our client and personal relationships.  That’s because relationships are designed to bring up anything unhealed in childhood.

There’s no escaping from that core truth. So, what to do?

You can start by getting in touch with your defense patterns and as you diffuse them, you will find it easier to accept constructive criticism in the spirit it was intended:

  1. Look at what you judge or make wrong in others:

    This is perhaps the easiest way to find your stuff, although not so easy or comfortable when you are not willing to own it in your own behavior! Everyone is a reflection of you: what you like and don’t like about yourself.

  2. Unpack the group/family/office patterns:

    This one builds on the first one, as groups tend to gather together to work through karma together and grow together. Family patterns are easiest to spot and perhaps the hardest to overcome as many families never try to fix dysfunctional patterns.

    Instead they are tolerated or worked around.

    Group or office patterns can be harder to spot because we tend to play the blame game, pointing fingers at others instead of taking responsibility for our own part. The most senior players and those with most longevity set the tone and attract others of a similar vibration.

    That is why even as group members or staff members leave, others will arrive who either consciously or unconsciously see the patterns at work and seek to fit in rather than make waves and risk being shunned.

  3. Ask someone you trust and respect about your blind spot:

    Now, the operative words in this sentence are trust and respect; since your blind spot can be an area of vulnerability that you have deeply buried, developed coping strategies around and pray no one will ever call you out on it.

    Often a trusted friend, colleague, or a professional can help you to get in touch with a blind spot.

    Once you’ve identified it, stay present with it, look at all the ramifications of it and imagine what life would be like without it. What could you do differently to be more effective?

  4. Play the awareness game, Resistance has many faces:

    We addressed one of them (blame) above and another is sublimation. We pretend that it really isn’t a problem, or that we can’t do anything about it, we might even argue for our limitation!

    Playing the awareness game gives us a chance to be present with what is happening, to notice the impact we have on other people when we criticize them and the impact on us when we are criticized.

    There is a distinct change in the energy when people shut down and if you try to gloss over it, as in a meeting, without addressing it – nothing authentic occurs after that moment.

    This can be particularly deadly in staff or client meetings. You might even be aware that there is “an elephant in the room” but be too fearful to address it.

  5. Clean up your messes:

    This is truly time-sensitive. The longer you wait, the greater the potential for damage. However, your best chance for success is to get in touch with and express your feelings in privacy and safety first.

    Underneath your feelings of anger and sadness is key information, an a-ha, so to speak.  This helps you understand why you got triggered and helps you to get in touch with what you need.

    Once you have processed your feelings, the charge in your voice tone is eliminated. You are able to ask clarifying questions, take responsibility for your part in the upset, and ask for what you need calmly and rationally.

    Women, especially, find it difficult to talk in the moment of an upset without crying, which can infuriate others, especially men, who feel manipulated by the tears.

    Taking a time out to process your feelings and then to make a time to talk is a very powerful strategy for navigating through difficulties in communication.

  6. Pay the “Haters” no mind:

    Don’t let your detractors steal your energy; by interacting with them you merge with their energy.

  7. Look for the kernel of value:

    Eventually, as you identify your triggers, you might even find yourself welcoming constructive criticism in the spirit it was intended: to help you be the best you can be.  

As always, life is a journey and learning how to handle criticism positively is a rite of passage.  I’d love to hear from you if you found this article helpful, and I think I can now handle constructive criticism too!

Aimée Lyndon Adams

About the Author, Aimée Lyndon-Adams

Aimée Lyndon-Adams is both a seasoned corporate executive and a metaphysician practicing spiritual energy healing. She has provided coaching and healing sessions to individuals, couples and groups and has offered an energy management curriculum of training classes for many years. She is an articulate and charismatic speaker and facilitator.

Visit www.WhatTrulyMatters.com to claim instant access to your free gift for your juiciest life EVER!