eBusiness Blog

Goal vs. To-Do List, What’s The Difference?

Do you ever see the end of your To-Do List (TDL)?Alinof_ToDoList

One of the most de-motivating habits we create is never seeing the bottom of a TDL; a page of tasks to do that is never entirely checked or crossed off. It’s almost worse than not making the list in the first place.

You find yourself starting your daily list by carrying over what wasn’t done yesterday and adding today’s list to it. Thus making today’s list even longer.

By the time you finish a week or so of carry-overs you have a list that would choke an elephant and no one could accomplish in the time-scheduled period.

So if this is happening to you, stop making a TDL! …..Unless you keep reading and finding out how you can have a TDL that you will always complete every time.

Let’s back up a bit and look at how a TDL differs from a ‘goal.’

A goal is an intention. It doesn’t have to have a time schedule. It is what you want to be, do or have that serves your life purpose in some way. Fulfilling this goal will feel as if you have added the final piece to a jig saw puzzle, the picture is now revealed and you feel more whole.

There should be no struggle to a goal completion. It is something you move toward by the choices you make in ‘now’ time. It is something that is aligned with who you are, your life purpose and not something that is ‘should-ed’ on you. You know, the things others tell you that you ‘should’ be, do or have.

The goal is the larger picture, the greater good, and will connect you with the kind of health, relationships, career, financial freedom and spiritual link you desire. It can be something seemingly small or grandiose, however each one carries an equal importance no matter its apparent size.

The TDL has an importance of great magnitude. Its purpose is to help keep your life operating more smoothly, to lower stress and assist you in preventing or avoiding those occurrences that can make life more bumpy and frustrating.

Now, of course you can’t foresee every life event that produces storm clouds and seems to come out of left field with no warning, but you do know which bad habits you have developed that keep creating the same problems over and over again. Properly managed TDLs can be very effective in providing you more time for leisure, put more play money in your pocket and in you having a feeling of much more control over your life.

These are some tips for a TDL that serves you rather than frustrates you:

1. Be specific, but not too detailed.

Too detailed would be, ‘drive to work’, ‘park car’, ‘take elevator to office’…..you get the picture. Specific would be ‘Take Julie to practice @3:00 pm. ‘Pick up a pre-cooked chicken on the way home.’ ‘Map out my newsletter so it’s ready to write for tomorrow’.

2. Keep more than one list; one for the month, the week and each day.

Begin every month doing a TDL you want to complete within the month. Each week write a TDL you want to complete for that week and they should support your month’s list. Then your daily TDL is easy, just look at the other two lists and decide what actions are needed that support them.

3. Keep the lists short. No twenty-item lists allowed!

Only list steps that you are confident you can complete in the time period. Will that always happen? No, but it should happen a minimum of 75% of the time. Only then will you have a feeling of accomplishment and thus want to keep doing your lists because you know how valuable they are for you.

4. Prioritize the list.

First by time constraints, which items are dependent on the calendar or clock ie: get to the bank before it closes, listen to the teleclass at 2:00 pm.

Second, by how long it takes to complete them; do the shortest tasks first so you will feel you are making great headway, love seeing the checkmarks and build energy to keep on going.

Third, by what you dislike doing most and do that first, get it off your plate so you are not dreading it all day. Just the act of dreading sucks the energy out of you because in your mind you are doing this task over and over instead of just once in actuality.

5. Focus, focus, focus.

Remain on task and don’t stray off into overtime on Facebook. Save that for the leisure time you are banking. Avoid stressing out over traffic or a temporary Internet interruption by always allowing more time than you actually need to complete a task. Another reason to keep the list short and not cram too much into a time period.

Your TDLs really help to support your goals too. They are the things that keep your life ticking in a way that makes you feel really good. We can spend less time ‘doing’ and more time ‘being’. Doing is busy-ness while Being is fulfillment. Goal completion gives your life meaningfulness and in order to get to this state, having the solid of foundation of a well working TDL practice is necessary.

It’s actually fun and has the power to make you feel accomplished, smart, in control and even walk with a little bit of well-earned swagger in our step!

About the Author, Lynn Moore

Lynn

Lynn is an Intuitive Coach/Mentor who works with career women in the second half of life to help them find a deeper sense of self and soul purpose. To help them end the struggle to learn WHO they are, WHAT they want and HOW to go and get it.

She is an accomplished speaker, published author, lifetime entrepreneur and has coached clients worldwide since 2004. She is the creator of the Inspirational Goaling system that is revolutionizing the world of how to choose goals and accomplish them struggle free.

Receive your free iBook, "Inspirational Goaling", that will inspire you into a life of fulfillment and meaning at: www.InspirationalGoaling.com

For Pity’s Sake, Do Not Set a New Years’ Resolution!

For Pity's Sake, Do Not Set a New Years' Resolution!Dang! I’m sitting on the ground nursing a skinned knee.

Y’see I tripped over the crack in the sidewalk.

Seriously!

Only one person who was walking toward me, witnessed this very ungracious performance and, to tell the truth, the embarrassment was much more painful than the knee. That, and tearing the fabric of my favorite Capri’s.

As a 4 year old I would have cried copious tears rather loudly, run to Mum who would have made all the appropriate responses such as hugs, sympathetic words, cleaning the massive injury, putting a Band-aid on it and kissing the boo-boo better. Then I’d run back out to get in the game again.

Fast-forward several decades and the incident takes multiple days for this body to recover, what with the jolt of falling on my hands and knees affecting several joints and musculature that continually remind me of my clumsiness.

What does this have to do with New Year’s resolutions?

I’m about to reveal.

Let’s say you have set New Year’s resolutions for your business in the past and like 99% of those who also did this, you didn’t carry through and meet your goals.

Did you cry loudly and run to someone for comfort? Someone who could kiss your injury better and tell you sympathetic and healing words? Of course not.

Did you feel embarrassed about your ‘falling down’, your clumsiness about how you went about manifesting this goal and did it make you want to crawl into the bushes and hide rather than have anyone see you trip up?

Did you feel the pains of your failure reminding you how inadequate you are for multiple days after the fact?

Sighhhh.

Okay, here’s the deal.

If you are going to play in the world of business and personal goals, you have to be a four-year old.

Like any four-year old, you know what you want and without a second thought you set right out to get it. Your bright mind has a perfect image of what you are going for.

When something gets in your way, you shove it aside and keep going. When you trip up on the way, fall down and skin your pride, you make all the noise you want, go and get some immediate soothing help, put a Band-aid on it and then forget all about it and get back into playing the game.

You don’t go into pity mode, get all ashamed and tell yourself how stupid you are for not picking up your feet and causing yourself to trip. You don’t tell yourself that you can’t walk that path again because you tripped up once before and you are sure you will again.

First step: Always be planning

A goal is a journey. And when you are on a journey, the road winds, turns, has stop signs and detours. You can have a perfect vision of where you want to arrive, but be sure to include in your plan a decision to be flexible and change the plan, stop and start and take a detour if necessary.

If you take a wrong turn, it is not a reason to give up the trip. You retrace and get back on the right road. You will still arrive at your destination, but perhaps in a different manner than you first thought.

Why would you do this only once a year and especially when you know this hasn’t succeeded for you in the past? New Year’s day is no different than any other day for goalers, because goaling is a daily activity.

Second Step: Your Structure

Start easy, you are going into training.

  1. CHOOSE: On the first day of each month write your desired intentions for the month for each of 4 categories: business, health, relationships, finances.

  2. PLAN: Now break each one of those goals down into what you intend to accomplish during this first week of the month that will help bring about your month’s goals for each category.

  3. ACTION: Now break it down further into specific things you will do on each day of that first week for each category which will help bring about the accomplishments in #2.

#3 supports #2, and #2 supports #1. You are building the levels of the pyramid.
Check this list daily all week.

Repeat #2 and #3 every week for the whole month and then you will start at #1 again. Be sure to take note of your success with your month’s desired intentions! It may not be 100%, but anything unfinished can just be rolled over into the new month.

You will keep doing this every month, week and day for the entire year. And as you get better at this, you will be able to choose an annual desired intention, which you will break down into the months, weeks and days as you have been doing. Only now you will have four levels.

Don’t choose January 1st, it has a bad rap. Choose any day as your first day of a year.

Third Step: Have fun

Do what the four-year old does. Have fun! Don’t take yourself so seriously. Laugh off a few stumbles, the world is not going to end. Life happens and sometimes you are going to trip up or life will push you down. There are always the “Band-aids” of the next day, the next week and the next month.

Be flexible and do your goaling one day at a time.

About the Author, Lynn Moore

Lynn

Lynn is an Intuitive Coach/Mentor who works with career women in the second half of life to help them find a deeper sense of self and soul purpose. To help them end the struggle to learn WHO they are, WHAT they want and HOW to go and get it.

She is an accomplished speaker, published author, lifetime entrepreneur and has coached clients worldwide since 2004. She is the creator of the Inspirational Goaling system that is revolutionizing the world of how to choose goals and accomplish them struggle free.

Receive your free iBook, "Inspirational Goaling", that will inspire you into a life of fulfillment and meaning at: www.InspirationalGoaling.com

What do I have to do to get respect?

Welcome to Respect“I wrote and told you not to come home. Can’t you read between the lines? I have another woman and I don’t want you.”

These are the words spoken to me by my first husband after he picked me up at the train station. We had just gotten in the car, and by ‘we’ I mean me with my six-month pregnant belly and our 2 year-old daughter.

I had gone to visit my mother who had broken her back falling off the kitchen counter (hanging curtains!) and wanted to offer any help that I could. Yes, he had written me a letter saying I should stay there indefinitely to help Mum and he would send my things. That set my alarms ringing!

This was the second time in my very young life I had received news that jolted my world off its axis and I knew there was nothing I could do that would ever right it. The first time will have to be an article on its own.

The following months were a special kind of Hell, but I did end up telling him to leave us. And this was the very first time I recall ever setting a personal boundary. With that came self-respect.

I gave birth to my second daughter alone, moved away, tried to become a working, single Mum but had to settle for being a single Mum on welfare. The time was just before women decided they had had enough of inequality and “Women’s Lib” marched into our lives on a road of burned bras.

Aretha was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Very timely.

I hung on to my self-respect during a time when other women marched to demand theirs from our society.

Here’s the big news about respect: no one respects anyone who does not respect herself or himself. And what is the one sure way of showing the world that you respect yourself? You have well defined personal boundaries.

We hear this word and think, “That’s all well and good, but I don’t really know what is meant by having personal boundaries or how to define them.”

Let me see if I can help.

A person who has boundaries can be loving, but not a pushover. They don’t have so many boundaries that they shut themselves off from life, but they also have enough boundaries so they don’t lose themselves.

They are not people pleasers because PP’s build up huge resentments that they end up projecting onto others, usually loved ones. No boundaries means no self-love.

Boundaries are not walls to keep people away and/or you locked in. They are tools for communication. Your boundaries are shared with others kindly, with respect and love and also with clarity and firmness. If they are shared in this way, the reaction of the receiver is wholly theirs to own. You are not responsible for their behavior, but it will tell you if they are a person you want in your life or your business. This is self-respect.

Many of you reading this may be entrepreneurs operating businesses from home. In which case, home and business boundaries will overlap and will be especially necessary. They will depend on who is living with you and the ages of children, if any.

Boundaries can be something seemingly so small as asking for a knock on the office or bedroom door and waiting for a response before entering or respecting a notice on your office door for those times when you can’t be disturbed (ie: making business calls, interviews or recording videos), or the name you want people to use to address you.

They can also be major boundaries, which in your business can result in serious consequences if not respected i.e.: hard feelings, having to fire someone including a client, an attack on your reputation over the Internet, loss of income, or you having to take legal action.

Examples of overlapping home and business boundaries can be: smoking habits; scheduling, such as times you want family members home (for dinner or curfew) or expecting clients not to be perpetually late for calls or meetings; abusive language in your presence; abuse of any kind; the amount of time you will spend on the phone with someone; manners.

In business, it’s always best to have everything spelled out in written form before you hire additional help or embark on a joint business venture, or take on a new client. Make certain they know how you conduct business (negotiate if necessary), and what the consequences are if your guidelines are not respected.

Does this mean that if someone does not respect your boundaries that they are catapulted out of your life? Of course not, but you can call their attention to it each time they do this. After all, old habits die hard! However, there does come a time when there will be a consequence and that should be made clear.

Important! Boundaries go both ways. It is in giving that we receive. Respect the boundaries of others and that includes yourself. Start by respecting your own boundaries.

One of the greatest gifts you can give your children is to teach them to develop their own boundaries, to ask for them to be respected and to respond in kind. Their journey in this world will be easier, more fun and much more successful. And we would be raising a generation that does not have an out of balance expectation of entitlement or is bent on blaming everything and everyone for circumstances of their own making. They will also be more successful when they enter the adult world where they will either deal with businesses or perhaps own and operate one.

If I had developed boundaries in my teens or earlier I could have avoided the mental, physical and emotional abuses of my first marriage. I would not have involved myself with such a man. Of course, the upside is that I have two precious daughters and I am most grateful for what they have brought into my life.

I’m happy to say that I did learn about boundaries and they are a big part of my successes in building three businesses as an entrepreneur. Oh yes, and in a second marriage that is in its 44th year.

What story do you wish to share about respect and boundaries and how you were able to establish them? Comment below!

About the Author, Lynn Moore

Lynn

Lynn is an Intuitive Coach/Mentor who works with career women in the second half of life to help them find a deeper sense of self and soul purpose. To help them end the struggle to learn WHO they are, WHAT they want and HOW to go and get it.

She is an accomplished speaker, published author, lifetime entrepreneur and has coached clients worldwide since 2004. She is the creator of the Inspirational Goaling system that is revolutionizing the world of how to choose goals and accomplish them struggle free.

Receive your free iBook, "Inspirational Goaling", that will inspire you into a life of fulfillment and meaning at: www.InspirationalGoaling.com