What is Judgment?
We are all familiar with that voice inside our head and the conclusions it draws as it encounters life. A judgment is merely a personal perception, an evaluation that includes complaint, perhaps criticism and often blame. It may also involve some form of self-defense.
Judgment and its connection with the mind
Our mind has a natural ability to review, discern, calculate and evaluate since it is functioning from a space that is designed to protect us. Thus judgment is an extension of a mind conclusion, aimed at helping us.
The paradox is that with judgment poorly resolved, conflict and misery follow too, so instead of feeling protection, we often feel vulnerable when we have judged another. In defending our position, our buttons get triggered, misunderstandings arise, and emotional wounds evolve.
All family strife is a by-product of some judgment that has arisen and subsequently been mishandled.
Purpose behind judgment
Family strife alone, is motivation enough to eradicate judgment but how many of us actually know how to do this effectively?
I for one, had no idea of the jewel that exists to transform differences in an everlasting way. I found after an arduous journey of misery, that judgment could only fall away permanently through another mechanism that assists the mind to discern differently and this mechanism is called self-awareness.
Self-awareness is a very important quality that if encouraged in the family home, ensures that conflict and misery can be transformed dramatically.
I have three children, aged 14, 19 and 23, and had I not been introduced to practical principles of heightening self-awareness back in 2008, my communication and honest relationship with them would not have been as effective as it is today.
I am separate and I am different to you… and that is what I am protecting when I stand in judgment of you!
Ironically, all the while a person is judging a person outside of them, they are guaranteed to be judging themselves internally too…causing inner angst, unhappiness and division. Often the inner voice is even harsher towards “self” than it is towards others, fuelling the miserable idea of non-acceptance of oneself!
This becomes the saddest human phenomena- striving for a mis-conceived idea of perfection, instead of embracing full acceptance of our own presence and beauty as it stands each day!
This is thus the real purpose behind judgments: to help us to be aware of our own inner division and help us to take responsibility for this state so that we might dissolve the angst, and learn how to become truly happy again.
Feel complete inside and embrace our worthiness
With growing self-awareness, a new form of happiness evolves, which disregards what is flowing outside of us. This happiness is generated from our own inner voice that miraculously drops stress, worry, shame or guilt naturally and becomes friendly, life affirmative, creative and truly blissful.
Imagine what it would feel like to have a family life in which everyone embraces one another, where mutual respect and love takes precedence and conflict dissolves swiftly as each person begins to work together!
Where each person becomes willing to be vulnerable, and honest, avoiding suppression of thought, and yet still succeed in remaining united.
Once we consciously embark upon the journey of transforming our judgments away, we simultaneously claim our individual gifts too and learn how to be truly compassionate towards one another. This is what happens when our inner voice finally accepts itself, without judgment.
Our Soul’s natural ability is to feel love
At the core, each of our souls recognize the truth of unconditional love, and we have all somewhere agreed to be on a journey that helps us to evolve from a state of incompleteness, back into wholeness.
We are continuously being presented with the opportunity to embrace the idea that we can move up the human ladder of evolution, by finding the tools to advance our awareness so that we might learn who we truly are. With this a chance to feel euphoric by experiencing the unconditional love we are seeking outside of ourselves stands as our prize.
The Responsibility to find unity and drop judgment
As judgment is effortless for the mind to engage in, and the soul has a natural ability to recognize unconditional love, the question that arises is “How can we bridge the gap between these two states?” so that the heart might override the mind and we can take responsibility to find that bridge.
The mind is effectively our ego personality, our idea of a separate existence. All too often, we find solutions that engage the mind, without realizing that it is the mind itself that is the root of the problems, and thus it cannot get us out of trouble!
This is where I went wrong for many years, until I had the good fortune to fall into the wisdom of the mystics. They work with meta- psychology, ie they bypass the mind in their solutions and achieve truly profound and everlasting changes.
They help us to embark on the task to find out and become aware of all the different faces we have, and as we unearth each mask and see what fear or otherwise was driving us to behave a certain way, we become increasingly compassionate towards others.
Kindness always kills inner angst and helps the journey away from judgment
Pretending to be kind, where we have been wronged and forcing yourself to forgive, only creates greater inner division and inauthenticity, even if it is what society has enforced on us.
However in true kindness, where we respect, love and accept ourselves fully, we are able to then truly accept everyone around us without judgment too. For this to happen we need to see our humanness, our jealousy, our insincerity, our rage, our fears, our desires, our misplaced thoughts, and our changing volatile emotions.
True kindness arises when we have embraced the shadow side of our personality but also our shining side too.
When we have accepted our own uniqueness and our own gifts, our talents, and grace, and when we know we are living our life on purpose. True contentment arises and true thriving arises, beyond any fulfillment that can be defined by material success.
Ego Personality separates because it is afraid of thriving!
However, we all need to mindful that the ego personality is afraid in circumstances of unity, happiness and true joy… it is truly afraid of expansion and ecstasy! It is this deep fear that prevents many from making the journey of self-exploration and self-awareness in the first place.
So despite the existence of this fear, I invite each of you to reclaim the great heights of unity and joy that reside within you, and consciously take steps towards heightened self-awareness.
- Do you experience conflict in your home?
- Do you wish to have better communication with your children?
- Do you wish to have your partner be more supportive and loving?
- Do you wish to have a family life, where each is confident, empowered, self-motivated and joyous?
- Do you want existing judgment to lead you to happiness?
If you have found yourself answering yes to any of these questions I invite you to come forward for a free 30 minute, no obligation, revitalization consult, and lets together determine a new practical pathway to happiness.
About the Author, Kindi Gill ACA
Kindi is a former CEO who offers Self-Awareness Executive Coaching, teaches principles of Consciousness and specializes in Change & Mental Health as a Professional Speaker.
Kindi has been a student of the Dalian School for Health and Consciousness and is a Facilitator of the Self Healing Dalian Method, an evolutionary tool for Transformation. Kindi has shared this system with hundreds of people, since founding Spark Expansion Consulting in 2015, and without fail, adults, teenagers and children delight in their changes.
Call Kindi at 778-558-5110 for help in getting your business and personal life back on track to achieve its natural full potential or visit www.www.InwardLeadership.com for her free leadership report.