Working in the business arena, we often hear the following complaint from our clients, “I’ve lost my joy.” Perhaps you feel this way too?
When I was child, my father explained that while you can do what you love as a hobby, you must do what you have to in order to earn a living. I had noticed how many of the adults around me as well as those depicted on television and in the movies endured or even hated their work, and seemed to reserve their enthusiasm for the evenings and weekends.
So, my father’s counsel felt accurate, if depressing. Needless to say, my first forays into the world of business were disillusioning and I, too, couldn’t wait for quitting time.
Eventually, like many others, I made the transition from working as an employee to becoming an entrepreneur. “Now,“ I thought, “I will be doing something I love and making money!” Oh yes, and I thought I’d be working less and earning more …we all know how that goes!
It’s so easy to get lost in the minutiae, and succumb to a false sense of urgency that sucks us into the perceived need for 24/7 availability.
The five steps I have for you are not quick fixes, as finding your joy is not a one-time thing but stabilizes through the consistent demonstration of your commitment to it.
- Reclaim your authenticity:
Most of us place a value on “fitting in,” we believe that it will help us feel more connected to our business and social community.
And yet, does it really? And, what price are you paying? Perhaps your attempts to fit in are in fact an assault on your authenticity? Perhaps you prize fitting in more than you prize standing out from the crowd?
We give ourselves away piece by piece whenever we compromise what is real and true for us. It’s not a surprise that experiencing joy is connected to your authenticity – it’s built in to who you really are!
- Address your needs before your wants:
Your needs are the things without which you do not function well. In other words, they are the basic requirements of your body, mind and spirit in order to feel good.
Feeling good is your body’s normal and you can build from there. Whether you have never taken the time to explore your needs or whether you believe that they are impossible to address or no one will support you doing so, you can see how much easier it appears to be to go after your wants.
The problem is that addressing your wants without satisfying your needs will never make you happy!
I need intimacy and touch, to be seen and valued, connected conversation, quality alone time, eight hours of sleep and time for stretching my body. I want the latest designer handbag and those gorgeous strappy sandals. Get it?
- Rediscover your curiosity and give yourself new experiences:
Remember when you were a child and were insatiably curious about life? “Why and how.” were my two favorite words.
Did you love to learn new things, have new experiences – even if your enthusiasm was short-lived – your joy was in the moment. Over time, it’s all too easy to settle into a routine, to play the “been there, done that” card, and to do what you feel is expected of you.
Where’s the joy in that?
- Simplify your life:
I read an article recently called, “The Joy of Wanting Less.” It seems to be all the rage. More and more people are finding their joy underneath the mounds of their possessions.
The trend is towards doing stuff not buying It makes sense to me! Just look at the amount of time you spend on maintaining all the stuff when you could be out and about enjoying yourself! There are a number of tried and true ways to go about this without overwhelming yourself.
My favorites include:
- For every one new thing you buy, you give away, toss or sell, three others. For example, buying one new CD means getting rid of three, etc.
- Organizing one drawer, closet or cupboard a day is manageable.
- Keep out only what you use on a daily basis, pack up all the just in case items or duplicates. If you don’t go looking for something in 6 months, let it go.
- Spend more quality time with your family of choice: Who are the real loves of your life? Family of birth or family of choice? Or, both?
Don’t you want the loves of your life to get the best of you? What is it that you love about spending quality with your loved ones? Do you feel appreciated, seen and valued, heard and emotionally supported?
Do you experience the joy of reciprocation? The best and most long-lasting relationships are balanced between giving and taking.
So, prioritize this sacred time, go for quality and not quantity, make sure you have some gas in your own tank before you show up and let your innate joy bubble back up!
It is, of course, possible to combine some of these ideas. For example you can be learning something new and making new friends or doing it with existing friends. You can support each other in simplifying by having clothes swaps or a joint garage sale.
Your joy has not left you forever, you can find it – it just got buried! I wish you success in your own journey and encourage you to reach out and comment below if you have any comments or further questions.
About the Author, Aimée Lyndon-Adams
Aimée Lyndon-Adams is both a seasoned corporate executive and a metaphysician practicing spiritual energy healing. She has provided coaching and healing sessions to individuals, couples and groups and has offered an energy management curriculum of training classes for many years. She is an articulate and charismatic speaker and facilitator.
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