eBusiness Blog

Hidden in Plain Sight

The Lady in White by Edmund Oppenheim

My daughter was home from college for winter break and brought her boyfriend for his first visit to Pittsburgh. They are in art school together, and I had a painting I wanted to show him. It’s a painting I’ve had for 20 years or so and really love.

And I couldn’t remember where it was. We sat there at the dining table, the whole family, trying to figure out where that painting was hanging. We knew it was in the house. We all remembered where it used to be hanging and we remembered that I had moved it a couple of years ago.

But we couldn’t envision where it currently hung.

As we were clearing the table and taking dishes into the kitchen, we saw it. Literally. This beloved painting was hanging just outside the dining room on the way to the kitchen—in the main entry hall. We walk by it every day, multiple times a day and we had stopped seeing it.

It was funny, but it was also really startling. How could I simply stop seeing something that I loved—claimed to love—so much?

How could we all stop seeing something that we walked past every single day?

It’s normal, isn’t it? It happens to all of us. You go through your daily life on autopilot and just stop noticing things. Like the buildings on your way to work or school. Until one of them gets demolished. Then you notice that the building is gone, but you can’t actually remember what it looked like.

We notice change more than we notice the status quo. And even then we tend to notice change only when it directly affects us. We don’t notice that somebody moved the bottle opener until we reach for it in the drawer and discover it’s not there.

This “hidden in plain sight” painting experience got me wondering about what I wasn’t seeing in other areas of my life: in my relationships, in my health, in my business. It got me wondering how something could just disappear from my awareness like that. For upcoming events click here to see painters and decorators in london.

I started wondering what I could do to stay more aware—at least of the things that matter most to me.

I realized that things (and people) disappear from our awareness when we stop putting our attention on them. When my daughter was home from college, I realized how little I knew about what she  is doing in college.

Since she’s out of state, I rarely see her. We both get caught up in our daily lives and don’t talk as often as we may like, and she’s not on Facebook (if you can believe that!). When she’s at school, we fade from each other’s awareness.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with that, but we realized over her break how easy it is to let weeks go by without talking and that we had a lot of catching up to do.

In my business, I discovered that I was not seeing an untapped source of income. I was writing, blogging and doing some free introductory teleclasses and not seeing the opportunity to combine it all into paid teleclasses. I know, I know. Pretty obvious from the outside. (It took working with my coach to see it myself.)

I had just gotten so habituated to doing things a certain way that I wasn’t seeing other possibilities. I wasn’t seeing the goldmine because I was used to seeing all the dirt.

What was so frustrating to me was that I’m actually really good at seeing things from different perspectives. That’s what people hire me for. And yet here were areas where I wasn’t doing it for myself.

So now I’ve implemented some practices to help me see what’s hidden in plain sight and to prevent the things I really care about from disappearing in the first place.

  1. I get still and quiet:
    Literally sitting down—without a computer, iPad or phone, without a book, magazine or agenda—helps me see things I was missing and remember things I had forgotten. I’ve been enjoying sitting quietly with a cup of tea in a different room every day. I drink my tea slowly and just look around the room. Yes, my mind starts going as I discover the hidden secrets of the room. But the point isn’t meditation. The point is discovery—re-discovery.
  2. I change my perspective:
    Instead of changing my perspective just to solve a problem, I proactively change my perspective to prevent problems and to keep thing fresh.I ask myself questions such as, “How can I be a better mom today?” “What does my body need today?” “What could I try that I haven’t done before in my business?”
  3. I reassess my priorities:
    Recognizing that it’s a normal function of the human brain to stop seeing what’s right in front of us, I ask myself “What’s important to me right now” as a way to put that thing (or person) back in focus for me.Are there things or people I forget? Of course. But this simple question has been more effective than my to-do list as getting me focused “on the right things.”

You may know the metaphor of putting golf balls in a jar, then adding pebbles, then adding sand, and finally adding beer (or other liquid) to fill the jar. The idea being that the golf bars are the big things in life: family, spirit, life purpose, friends. If you don’t put them in first, all the little things will take up space and you won’t have room for the big things that really matter. Following that metaphor, you could ask yourself every day, “What are my golf balls today?”

Steven Covey wrote about “putting first things first.” Put your golf balls in first. I accidentally typed “gold” balls, and I like that image better! Put your gold balls first.

keckert060LRsm

About the Author, Kelly Eckert

Kelly Eckert is an author, professional speaker, and shamanic leadership coach. She is a graduate of Harvard College with a bachelor's degree in biological anthropology and Tufts Graduate School of Arts and Sciences with a master's degree in biology.

Kelly is a certified MentorCoach® and a certified coach member of the International Coach Federation. She is the creator of the Fear Releasing Method™ and Coaching with Animal Archetypes™. Kelly speaks nationally and internationally on the topics of fear and unleashing the animal within. Her latest book, What's Your Spirit Animal?, is now available. Find out more at kellyeckert.com.

How to use the Law of Attraction For Amazing Business Relationships

How to Attract A Great Business Relationships Using the Law of Attraction

Holding Hands Jigsaw puzzleIn my previous article An Introduction to the Law of Attraction  I explained what the Law of Attraction was and how whether you realize it or not, it is always in operation. It could also be called the ‘Law of Vibration’ because from your words you form thoughts, and those thoughts evoke certain feelings or vibrations.

Those vibrations sometimes called ‘vibes’ are either positive or negative and they will attract more of the same. Another way to say this is that ‘like attracts like’.  So it makes sense to say that you most likely want to find business partners who have similar ‘positive vibes’ as you do.

In this article How to Attract A Great Business Relationship I’ll take you through a step-by-step process that you can use to attract a great business partner, client, strategic alliance or even support team. First it’s best to determine the qualities you want in your business associate or partner. This is called ‘Identifying Your Ideal Partner’ exercise and be clear if this is to be a true business partner, an ideal client, a great strategic alliance or someone (or several people) as part of your support team.

It’s easy to make what is called a ‘Clarity Through Contrast’ list by taking a sheet of paper and at the top put the heading ‘My Ideal Partner’ or you fill in the blank with what you want to attract.

Beneath that on the left hand side write ‘Contrast – What I DO NOT WANT’ and on the right hand side write ‘Clarity – What I DO WANT’. Just let your thoughts free flow down the Contrast side and do up to about 50 if you can. You don’t have to do this in one sitting you can do it over a few days. Then read out each DO NOT WANT response and on the right hand side write what you DO WANT.

By the time you finish this list you should be pretty clear on the type of business partner you are looking for that would suit you and your company best.

Now that you know the type of partner you are looking for you need to think about where you might meet your new partner.

Today many people are meeting potential business partners through in-person networking groups and attracting great fits through word-of-mouth referrals. Social media is a place that you can check out someone that you might be considering. For business LinkedIn is a good starting point as it has business information and may contain some testimonials about that person or company.

Facebook is also another good source that can offer information about them or not. If they have no social media sites that might be an indicator to you that this person might not be a fit with your business – or it may not matter.  If you belong to an association there may be someone in that group that is a perfect fit for what you are looking for.

Do you know of someone who met a great business contact in a shopping line? Or waiting in line to by hockey tickets?  It can happen to you too!

In any of these scenarios as long as you have identified the qualities you are looking for you are more likely to attract someone with some of these qualities. The next step is to write out a page or two of how you will feel when you actually are associated with this person in your business.

You might say things like “I am so excited to have found the perfect website development company and there is a bonus because they do SEO work! or “I love knowing that my new business partner is so skilled in areas that I am not that we make a perfect team!

Write whatever you feel will make you feel great when you are working with this person and write ‘as if’ it has already happened. You might want to start a vision board with pictures of what you want your business relationship to look like.

The final step is what is called ‘allowing’ and it means that once you have put out there what you want you need to let it be. No frantic, desperate feelings as you wait because since you know ‘like vibrations attract like vibrations’ you will only attract someone who is most likely not a good fit for you or your business!

Now every single time you get one iota of evidence that you are getting closer to attracting the type of business person you want in the type of business relationship you want then celebrate this!

It’s a good idea to keep a journal and express gratitude for all the great people that are coming into your life – even if, they are not yet your ideal business partner.

Stay focused on the type of person you want and keep these notes you have made in front of you and not hidden away in a drawer. The law of attraction states that you attract into your life whatever you put your attention, energy or focus on whether wanted or unwanted. Expect the perfect business match to start showing up – it might even happen before you have written everything out.

Do you have a story of when the Law of Attraction worked for you in finding an amazing business relationship? Please share below!

RESOURCES:

Esther & Jerry Hicks talk about  relationships in general in The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships

Michael Losier has a good case study of someone using his 3 Step Deliberate Attraction process for attracting a partner in  Law of Attraction: The Science of Attracting More of What You Want and Less of What You Don’t

About the Author, Dana J. Smithers

dana-smithers-ewb

Dana J. Smithers is on a mission to inspire and empower women entrepreneurs around the world. At 50 she left a high-paying corporate job and over the years launched 3 businesses earning a 6-figure income.

As a Certified Law of Attraction Trainer she you how to use LOA tools to build a business by working on your limiting beliefs. As a Certified Sacred Gifts Guide she helps you discover what makes you feel on purpose and fulfilled. As an Emotion Code practitioner Dana knows how to release your trapped negative emotions that have built up over the years and are now holding you back from moving forward. She invites you to sign up for her enewsletter for tips, insights and inspiration and her FREE ebook 'The POWER of your WORDS' at Empowered Women in Business. She looks forward to making a real connection with you on www.FB.com/coachdanasmithers. Her NEW Law of Attraction Gratitude Journal is available on www.amazon.com.

How to Overcome Fear and Resistance towards Selling…

medium_6829496615Are you putting your business success at risk?

Anyone with a desire to succeed in business must face the truth about a common obstacle, their own personal fear and resistance toward selling.

It’s a critical issue of extreme magnitude that requires a solution because “Selling” is a huge part of what drives business success. Overcoming your fear and resistance toward selling or Not… can make or break your business success!

Whether you are building a new business, expanding one, or representing a product or service, it’s likely you are already struggling with fear and resistance toward on some level. It may not be obvious but it IS holding you back, keeping you from reaching the next level of success.

Ignoring the problem doesn’t work.

Even when you think the fear and resistance is buried deep down inside… your “secret” thoughts and feelings about selling still limit your ability to network effectively, leverage opportunities, and fully maximize your potential.

Seriously, being saddled with any degree of fear and resistance creates undue stress, diminishes quality of life, and threatens the long term survival of any business venture.

Awareness, Understanding, and New Perspectives are essential to overcoming fear and resistance.             

Fear stems from a lack of understanding, the unknown, or a false perception of the results or outcome.  Resistance is a defensive reaction, to avoid the consequences of a perceived negative result or outcome.

One exercise may shed some light on what “triggers” fear and resistance in you:

Close your eyes, clear your mind, and say the word “Selling” out loud. Note the words, images, and thoughts that come to mind, plus any feelings you experience, both positive and negative.

Typical responses are; slight physical discomfort, visual images of “undesirable” sales people or negative words like “pushy” and “aggressive”, and hearing negative phrases like “it’s not polite to ask questions” or “sales people take advantage”, just to name a few.

Pay attention any thoughts, images, and impressions you experience. They are all subliminal messages that you’ve already internalized as your “personal beliefs” about selling. Unfortunately these “personal beliefs” are based on layers of incorrect assumptions and misinformation, compounded by personal interpretation and bias, resulting in an over abundance of deeply held personal beliefs about selling that are largely False.

Wow, did you catch that? The majority of what you believe about selling is Not true!

These subliminal false beliefs “trigger” your attitude and approach. Fear influences your “selling” behavior. Resistance challenges you to avoid “selling” all together.

No wonder it feels overwhelming!

New perspectives in place of false beliefs instantly “triggers” desired selling results ….

Simply stated, “New Perspectives” are the “truth” buried beneath our false beliefs. Uncovering the truth behind “false beliefs” allows you to eliminate “triggers” and overcome fear and resistance toward selling.

For example, “Don’t Impose” is a false belief that commonly “triggers” the “Fear of Rejection”.

It’s based on the “false belief” that selling is synonymous with imposing on a prospect. You only feel rejected if you falsely believe the sale is about you.

In reality clients are not focused on you, they are struggling with their own internal argument…Can I really justify this purchase? Is it worth it? Does it out weight or rank higher than my other priorities?

Your responsibility is to guide a prospect through a decision-making process, not force them to buy something they don’t want.

Selling is a series of questions designed to help them reach a conclusion. It is Not an imposition, they appreciate the assistance.

If they don’t buy, it’s about them, not you.

So be aware of “triggers”, understand the truth behind “false beliefs”, and discover new perspectives. This is the winning formula for overcoming fear and resistance and creating extraordinary business success!

About the Author, Anne D. Johnson

Anne Johnson

Anne Johnson, the Bold and Classy Selling Consultant has a genuine passion and natural talent for teaching everyone how to overcome their personal fear and resistance toward selling, close sales quickly without feeling pushy or aggressive, and truly thrive during challenging economic times.

Her compassion and interest in people from all walks of life, coupled with her experience working in a variety of business settings with entrepreneurs, business owners, executive leadership and sales teams from numerous industries has given her a keen insight, an ability to understand people, to know what they need to succeed, and the skills to provide Bold & Classy Selling Systems that really work!

Increase results and boost personal wealth by signing up for Anne's free MP3 download, "The 3 Secrets to Selling More Than You've Ever Sold Before".